The whole truth

I so appreciate the many kind words and notes of encouragement that have come our way since the whirlwind of events that began last week.  If our story can be the impetus for just one more person loving the least of these, whatever that looks like in your world and sphere of influence, I am happy.

But I'm going to be totally honest with you.

I don't really want to get on that plane by myself today.

I don't really want to move to Utah by myself.

I don't really want to leave my husband and 7 children at home for several months.

I don't really want to ask for the help of others while I'm gone.

I don't really want to miss so many special events happening without me in PA.

I don't really want to consider the unknown medical needs in our future.

And in my very weakest moments, I don't really want to wholeheartedly follow God's Will for my life.  I don't want to walk in faith.  I don't want to trust the unknown.  I don't want to bring hope to the hard places.  I don't want to redeem others.  I don't want to motivate others to do the same.  I just don't want to step out of the boat.

But I will.  Because I can't imagine any place I'd rather be.  I am looking forward to the lessons to be learned, for all of us.  And ultimately, I want to be willing to be uncomfortable so that others can be comfortable.  I look at the hopelessness around me and I can't stay where I am.  I can't ignore God's call to Come, follow.  I can't justify doing whatever I want, in my safe bubble, when so many people are hurting.

So today, I humbly ask you to pray for me.  Pray that I keep my focus on Christ.  No one can step out of the boat and walk on the water without keeping her focus on the face of Jesus.  It is my plan to start each day with an extended period of time in Bible reading, prayer, and listening to music that can lead me to worship the One who has orchestrated every moment of my life.  While I can do this at home, it has never been long enough, and never without interruption.  Now I can find rest that I never could have found at home (and won't find for a long time after returning home).  Pray for strength, and peace, and safety.  Thank you.

Pray that Victor has a great, restful day, so that when I get there he is in a place where he can tolerate some kangaroo care.  It's time for him to rest, skin-to-skin, with his mother.