A delay on my connecting flight kept me in Chicago an hour longer than I would have liked yesterday, when my little Victor was waiting for me. The pilot knew I was in a hurry, though, so made up for lost time and we arrived in Salt Lake just a little behind schedule. The nurse was just finishing his care and said that once his feeding had time to schedule I could finally hold him!
It was the longest three hours of waiting! But finally they placed him on my chest. It took a few minutes but he settled in and his breathing regulated nicely. They combined his feeding with his holding. Our big boy is up to 11 ml of milk per feeding! And I truly could see that he's filled out a little. Barely noticeable but definitely there. He's been having trouble with spitting up, though, and sure enough, about 20 minutes into the feeding he spit up a little. Barely enough to call spilled milk but to his tiny body it was too much. He sucked a little of it back into his nose and proceeded to set off all the bells and whistles on his machines. The nurses swarmed in, called the nurse practitioner on duty and quickly had him back to a nice pink color again.
How quickly things can change. They keep reminding me that such is the life with a preemie. But in reality, it's not that different from life in general. We can make all the plans that we want, and can think we have everything under control when in reality, we control nothing around us.
I was reading in Psalm 20 this morning and made a list of all of the things this passage says we are to do and paralleled that with all of the things God promises to do. I was struck by the fact that there is very little we actually need to do. It pretty much boils down to simply trusting him. On the other hand, God promises to much for us. It's kind of like the faith of my 8 year old who made this sign for me the day I was going to the doctor for the repeat tests.
So today, I am going to trust. I am going to fear not. I am not going to worry about the "coulds" and "mights" but instead focus on the God who protects.
"Some trust in doctors and some in medical technology, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." (Psalm 20 - kind of)
Please also read this post by Mariana, about the faith of our little 8 year old. Then join her in praying that Victor will amaze and will be home early.
Please pray today for his feeding issues, that he would not spit up. He needs every little bit of that nourishment and it just upsets him so.
Pray that his oxygen needs would remain low and that the weaning of the machines would be a steady step in the right direction, not an up and down process that is more typical.
Pray that everyone around Victor would have open eyes to see the miracles in his life.
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