Welcome to the KingZoo and Funny Farm, where we learn to live, laugh, and love together. Here you'll find snippets of life in our zoo, parenting tips we've learned along the way, reflections on shining God's light in this world, passions in the realm of orphan care, and our journey as parents of a visually impaired child with sensory processing disorder. Have fun!

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Staying in contact

One of the blessings of adoption is the addition of the child's birth family to your family. It is humbling to share the role of mommy with a child. There is this other woman out there who did what she could, within her emotional, physical, and financial means, to prenatally care for the child who now calls you, Mommy. I can only imagine, but never fully comprehend, what she goes through when making an adoption decision or when saying good-bye to her child.

Our arrangement with Victor's birth mother was that we would send letters and pictures monthly during his first year of life and then every three months thereafter. These letters go to the adoption agency who then sends them on to *Tracy. While still in the NICU we suggested to the social workers that it would be nice to update her daily if we could and that we'd love to establish a blog just for her. They agreed to ask Tracy this question and she said yes.

We are so thankful that she did. Last Wednesday I put March's letter in the mailbox. When I went back to the box later that day, I found February's letter had been returned, Return to Sender, Unclaimed, Unable to Forward. I was confused. I googled the agency and found that they had been shut down by the state in February. While this wasn't a shock as we had many concerns in our interactions with them, I was shocked to find out in this manner. I immediately sent Tracy a note through our blog, explained the situation, and asked her if she felt comfortable giving us her address. A few days later she responded and did give me her address. I was filled with relief knowing that this tie to Victor's birth family has not been severed.

How sad, though, for the many families who did not have such an arrangement. How many birth mothers are waiting for pictures of their children, not knowing what happened with the agency, and possibly thinking they have been abandoned by the adoptive family. And for Tracy, who has placed other children through this agency, she's left to wonder if she'll ever be able to regain contact and see pictures of the children she loves. Without last names, how are they ever going to find each other?

Thank you, Jesus, that we live in a time when open adoption is an option for birth families that want to stay in contact. Thank you for nudging us to set up a blog as means of connection with Tracy. Thank you, too, that we can continue to speak love and encouragement into her life. I pray that she knows she is loved and valued and pray that you, Jesus, would heal the areas of her life where she is hurting. I pray for miraculous intervention so that she can stay connected to her other children as well. Amen.

*Name changed to honor her

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad you still have the connection to Tracy. How awful for the other birth parents who don't.

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  2. What an excellent way to stay connected! I am hopeful that she and others can still find a way to stay connected. What an incredible gift for both of you.

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  3. I felt so sad reading this story and thinking about all of those moms who have now lost touch with their children forever. Victor's mom is blessed to have you parenting her son and sharing him with her. My sons were adopted through Denver Human Services when they were seven and nine. Their birth mom is in Denver, and they know how to get in touch with her, but they rarely choose to do it.

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