I have not watched TV in months. My first apartment out here didn't have one and I definitely didn't miss it. My new apartment does have a TV but I'm not actually in the apartment that much and when I am, there are other things to do. But last night I was in a hotel room near the Baltimore airport so I could more easily get to my early morning flight so with the TV in the hotel room I watched Nik Wallenda cross the Grand Canyon. I couldn't decide if I wanted to watch or not so when my hands got too sweaty in nervousness for him, I just had to look away.
I was struck by his example for the rest of us. Nik does not hide his Christianity and freely tells people that he can do what he does because he knows where He'll be if something goes wrong. Most of the rest of us are not gifted in such dangerous ways and our passions don't take us across the Grand Canyon on a little wire. However, if we are completely surrendered and trusting, we will be taken out of our comfort zone. So how can we get through?
Someone else in Nik's place might say something like, "You just have to go inside yourself; find your inner power, and focus." But Nik knows the futility of that. If we are totally honest, none of us has that kind of inner strength. We fail others and ourselves all the time. So just like Nik we get through each moment repeating, "Praise you, Jesus... Thank you, Jesus... Lord you are everything... Thank you, Lord..." There is both power and peace in repeating the name of Jesus.
One of the lessons the four younger children and I learned from Mark Batterson's 40-Day Prayer Challenge was to praise Jesus and to thank Him for answered prayer, long before the prayer is answered. So we started doing just that, we thanked God for the child He was bringing into our family. We didn't know who it was. We didn't know when it would be. But our prayers became praises for the answer that was to come.
Often while I'm holding Victor I will thank Jesus and just repeat His name over and over. One of the Sundays that I was home in PA, at the start of the church service we were encouraged to just call on the name of Jesus right then and there. I lost it because it was exactly what I had been doing for Victor's healing and victory.
And wow! What VICTORies he has gained this weekend!
Victor now weighs 4 lb. 8 oz. and just looks so much bigger!
He no longer gets caffeine to remind him to breathe, time to remember all by yourself, Victor!
He was weaned off of the high flow nasal cannula and now has low flow. If he still needs oxygen at discharge, this is what he would come home with. He still has moments of high satting and desatting but is tolerating this just as well as the high flow.
These things we had been told on the phone while I was home but one surprise was left for my return...
His preemie bed was sitting in the hallway, empty and ready for cleaning, when I arrived because Victor now has his very own big boy bed! No more portholes. No more top to pop. No more bed warmer (although I really think I'd like a bed warmer for the cold winter months).
And we're to make a 2nd appointment with the occupational therapist so that we can begin feeding (although I think she's on vacation this week - boo!).
And great news on the legal side of things, too. After passing ICPC in PA last week, we realized that it would likely be in our best interests to have Victor's adoption finalized in Utah. The short story is that with PA's strict adoption laws, we would have a more difficult time (impossibility?) getting termination of birth father's rights. So, we talked with an attorney in Utah who said he'd look into it. Worst case scenario, John and I would have to return to Utah in 6 months after discharge for the adoption hearing but the lawyer said that depending on which judge we were assigned to, there was a possibility he would allow us to appear for a consent hearing in Utah prior to returning home. This would mean that we would not need to return later. We found out today that the judge we drew will allow this. So, John will need to come out before we return home but we will not need to return in 6 months. Please pray that the timing of everything works out so that we get our court date at the same time as Victor's discharge giving me an extra set of hands to haul Victor and our stuff through airports, or an extra driver if we go home the long way.
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