There are many things I do not allow in my home. Bad language is one. Weapons are another. And catalogs are right up there with the other two. We are a catalog-free home. Or I do my best. As soon as a catalog comes in the mail, it goes right in the trash. Unless one of the King kids happens to bring in the mail. Or if I don't shove the catalog down far enough, under the tomato sauce, or something equally disgusting to the minds of the King kids.
Typically, it's been the younger kids I'm trying to keep the catalogs away from. All it takes is a few pages of items to turn my normally content youngsters into greedy, grabby Kingkins with rapidly multiplying Christmas wish lists full of plastic junk.
Tonight, however, it was my 16 year old who got immense pleasure from the most recent catalog (which, I might add, he pulled out of the trashcan). For at least an hour he regaled us with each and every item that caught his fancy. Who knew a catalog of Christian toys could so easily amuse my oldest teen? From Mother Mary dolls (that talk) to Christian Walkie-Talkies (they come in packs of three but you only receive two - the third goes right to Heaven), he had such a difficult time deciding what he most needed this Christmas. Righteous Racers matchbox cars were tempting (they always go the speed limit) as was a Junior Rifle with John 3:16 inscribed on the handle (for reciting before shooting).
On a more positive note, it wasn't all about him. He also found useful products that he could purchase for his siblings this Christmas. There were the Heroines of Christ's Kingdom paper dolls (he said he didn't know there was heroin in Christ's Kingdom) for his sisters and the air-soft machine gun (complete with devotional guide, hunting safety tips, and DVD on our second amendment rights). For Mom, he found many literary choices including, Keep Momma Chained in the Kitchen and the sequel, Laundry for the Masses (conveniently approved by Mrs. Duggar). For Dad a book on manly friendships (so he can get along better with others).
Hey, who took those catalogs out of the trash again?
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