Funniest Home Videos

John's at Regent University for the week and my parents are here to help with the taxiing. We decided to pull out some old home movies. I'll let the kids tell about it - in their own words (keep in mind that they're children and you can never believe everything that they say).

Jesse: First things first, you can't trust anything Andrew says. He was cheating and lying since he was 2. It all started at a family reunion when we were playing a game of horseshoes. Andrew couldn't throw far enough so he decided to just waltz up and place the horse shoe on the stake (he missed anyway). It's been the same since then. He cheats in every game from Go Fish to Apples to Apples (don't trust him).
In all of our home videos, everyone thinks that I'm just running around not paying any attention to anything but me. That's not true. Inside that head of mine is a highly intelligent brain just waiting to explore the world. And by the way, I was holding back my true ability to make Andrew look good. I'm such a loving brother!
I can't say I can give Andrew, or even Mariana the credit for bringing the acting bug into our family. Even though Andrew says he starred at the youngest age in WE LIKE SHEEP at Penn View Christian School as the shepherd. He looked so cute with his little glasses. I especially loved his solo. I will remember it to this day. "1, 2, 3, 4...16,17,18,19...31,32,33,34...58,59,60,61...72,73,74,75...97,98,99,100." I even bypass Mariana. She IS the drama queen without a doubt, but I was the one who influenced it all. When I was two months old I played baby Jesus in the Christmas play at out church. Andrew thinks I messed up my lines (he's lying). I have to say I stole the show.

Now thats all from me folks. tune in next time to hear me rant about "bad words" in my house.


Andrew: Well, all I can say (well, this probably isn't true) but during these videos I learned 3 main things about myself

1. I was far superior in mind and body than the rest of my siblings, NO EXCEPTIONS!!! During all of these videos, I found that I was able to count to 10 and identify the numbers, all before the age of 2 and a half. Compare that to my brother, who laughs hysterically as he is torturing my uncle's cat with its toy. My golfing skills were on par with Tiger Woods, and I was the only one at my great-grandma's 80th birthday party to hit a wiffleball. My brother, couldn't even throw straight, if you could even call it a throw. And all throughout the videos, my siblings kept saying, "Oh, he's so cute," "look at him, awwwww." "Oh look at what ANDREW is doing." My stunning looking blonde hair, (yes, I had BLONDE hair) made up most of my good looks. But don't worry, I still look good with brown hair.

2. No matter what my siblings may say about my acting ability, I let the acting bug in to the family. While Mariana was drooling on the floor, Jesse was still in diapers and Isaac was waiting to be born as a girl, I (yes I, Andrew King) started my acting career as a kindergartener while playing Joseph in Line Lexington's Christmas Spectacular "LIttle Drummer Boy". I then continued my career the following Christmas in first grade as Will in the theatrical musical production of "Wee Sing". I had a solo singing, "Peace on Earth good WILL to men." I starred in that show and I was a hit among everyone watching. But I wasn't done yet. Before considering retirement, I decided to star in one more musical production. As Jesse has already pointed out, I did appear in Penn View Christian School's "We Like Sheep". But what he didn't say was that I was the only non-sheep role in the 90 person cast. And I was one of only 7 main parts, and you guessed it, everyone but me was a low, smelly, stinky, sheep. Because of the success of that show, I decided to retire young and put my acting career behind me. Could my life be different now if I didn't stop? Most likely. Would I most likely be on Broadway? Absolutely. However, I chose a humbler route, where I can truly shine in my own way.

3. I was very thoughtful and a great thinker at ages 2-3. I loved to figure out how the bubble blower mower my uncle had worked and the bubble gun my aunt had was also something that I took to immediately because of, (you guessed it) my highly developed brain.

All right I am done now, my siblings are dying to stop me humiliating them on my Mom's blog. Just as a heads up though, anything bad my sister or brother say about me is 110% not true. Thank you for your time.
Your truthful messenger of the Truth
Andrew King

Mariana: Ok, My mouth is open, was and always will be open... Even at age 1 I was trying to tell my uncle the "right way" to "mate" pumpkin flowers. (no joke, our reunions are quite the affair). I really am not that embarrassed of our home movies because most of the ones that we have been watching so far have been from age 0-1 so... I didn't really do much. But, I did discover that even as a baby my mouth was open! (even if nothing was coming out) By the way, I don't like knowing what people did to me when I was a baby! Can't you people learn that there are MANY other ways to make a baby laugh other then PUTTING YOUR FACE IN THEIRS!!!!!! PERSONAL BABY SPACE!!!!!!!! And also, why do people throw babies in the air???? like NOT COOL! It is very scary knowing that you could have been dropped as a baby!!!! I also learned that at a very young age... I had great dancing abilities. I was good no lie...

Ok, enough about me... now MOM... So I don't get this "80's" style. like the 20 inch glasses with frames that looked like cardboard boxes. Also... I think its extremely funny how mom's cheerleading outfit ( yes, my mom was the cheerleader...)
was known as "skimpy", the dresses were at the knees and the sleeves were PUFFY! PUFFY SLEEVES ON A CHEERLEADER'S OUTFIT?!?!?!! REALLY?!?!?!!?! AHHHHH they looked like they should be on a hill going YOOODDDEEELLLEEHHHEEEHHHOOOOO!
She said that she stopped cheering because the "popular" girls showed how mean they can be to MY MOM BY SAYING SHE ISN"T POPULAR!!!! MEAN!!! But seriously... they all looked like geeks with their glasses and frizzy perms. HMMMM, maybe I got my dancing abilities from my mother's cheerleading... hmmmmm. I'm sooooo glad that I didn't live then... Also... just so you know... my mom dated this guy in high school who had red hair and a big nose... I realized that she only dated and married a guy with big noses!!!! WHAT IS WITH THAT!!!!!!! Lastly... guys should not wear shorts that go above their knees... PERIOD! like no objections... my Mom said that she married my dad for his legs but... I'd prefer not to see them... thanks anyway... I think that I'm done...