Welcome to the KingZoo and Funny Farm, where we learn to live, laugh, and love together. Here you'll find snippets of life in our zoo, parenting tips we've learned along the way, reflections on shining God's light in this world, passions in the realm of orphan care, and our journey as parents of a visually impaired child with sensory processing disorder. Have fun!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Make 'em work

As much as I love my larger-than-usual family, it can obviously get to be an expensive endeavor. But it's okay. I've got it all worked out.

One of our house rules is that when you turn 15 a job outside the home is mandatory. I guess it's not exactly mandatory but since you also take over most of your own purchasing, each child will (hopefully) come to the conclusion that a job is a necessary part of life. Just to make certain that these jobs are beneficial to the family at large I have spent much time brainwashing each child to pursue a specific job.

The first child is to work at Giant grocery store. This is an obvious one, right? We all need to eat; some of us more than others. Each meal at the King house ends with the landing of the vultures at which time we hear a barrage of, "Are you going to eat that? Are you finished? What are you going to do with that? Can I have it?" It gives new meaning to the clean plate club. So, with the first-born's employee discount I will no longer receive sticker shock at the grocery store.

The next child is to apply for a job at Bruster's Ice Cream. This is purely for pleasure and purely for me. I look forward to running errands by MYSELF and just happen to drive by Bruster's while said child is there. With his employee discount I will be able to order something other than a single cone every time. My mouth is watering already.

Third child's job will be at Panera Bread. Again, it is very convenient to run errands close to this location so I can stop by to say hello and to spend some time with my child. This employee discount card will be for my artichoke souffle breakfast and Chai tea drink. I see this becoming at least a weekly tradition. Lunch is good, too. I'll have to return later in the day for some soup and salad. And maybe, if the mood is right, I just might be able to use that discount to buy a dozen bagels for the vultures waiting at home.

The fourth child will work at Maggie's, not necessarily because I crave Italian ice (which I don't) but because it's within walking distance and the rest of the family enjoys this treat. They do sell ice cream which we usually don't allow anyone to get because it's more expensive. But with this child's employee discount, I should be able to indulge myself.

The fifth child will work at Brother's Pizza. We like Jerry, the owner, and he likes us. There is no pizza in Mechanicsburg better than Jerry's. The child who works here will learn to work hard. And oh yes, we'd all be able to go out for pizza more often. Imagine that.

The sixth child's employer will be Rakestraw's Ice Cream because we should all support local businesses. Did I mention that frequent stops for discounted ice cream would be appreciated very much by me?

If there end up being more King children, that's not a problem. There's always Cold Stone Ice Cream, Rita's Italian Ice, Dairy Queen. . .


  1. Haha, I like it. When I was in jr. high and high school, I delivered papers for 4 years, which resulted in a $4,000 scholarship. Paid for my books all the way through college. Just an fyi when looking for jobs for your kids. Maybe you both can get something out of it :)

  2. My first job as a teenager was writing obituaries...what kind of employee discount do you get doing that? ;)

  3. Bina, thanks for the heads-up. I see no reason why each child can't work at my selected job and deliver papers at the same time. There's no time like the present to work as many hours as you can.

    Jill, I think you can be glad you never needed to use that employee discount. When we moved into our home the Welcome Wagon Lady came with a number of gifts and coupons. She saved the best for last when she told us that the giver of this gift hoped that we never had to use their services. It was for the funeral home in town.