Alternate Tooth Fairy

The Tooth Fairy doesn't come to our house anymore. It just got to be too expensive. Not only are there eight mouths with the usual amount of teeth falling out, but some of them inherited their father's lack of adult teeth, some of them inherited their mother's overcrowded mouth, and some of them have their own unique issues. These kids don't always lose one tooth at a time and often it takes a little help from our friend the oral surgeon. His secretaries know us by name and though he looks like Santa Claus, well, let's just say the only gifts he gives are little cups with ugly teeth, root and all. Our family record, to date, is eight pulled at once.

Let me digress for a moment to tell a story which you are going to be so thankful not to have missed. So far, only one King child has had his wisdom teeth removed. Another is in the line-up and the other very fortunately is missing 3 of the 4 wisdom teeth. Blessings come in many varieties. When this particular child arrived home wisdom-less, he also had a Disney sticker on his arm. I thought this odd but didn't bother to ask the already-sleeping teenager.  Later, when taking the sticker off his arm, and losing several arm hairs in the process, he blurted, "Why would some idiot nurse put a sticker on my arm?" His father started laughing hysterically and said, "You asked for that sticker!" The teenager in pain questioned,"Well, I think I remember asking for a sticker just to be funny, but why did she put it on my arm?" Again, hysterics, "You told her you wanted it on your arm. You don't remember that?" Nope. No memory. So I guess the real question should be, "What idiot teenager would ask for a Disney sticker on his arm?"

Well, as you can guess, that Tooth Fairy just got a little tired of coming to the King residence. Too many times she completely missed our house while making her rounds. Not just the night the tooth (or teeth) came out, but several nights in a row. You'd think she would be better at this job after generations and generations.

To solve this problem, she just came by one day and dropped off a jar of coins and commissioned us to hand out a dollar each time a tooth falls from a mouth. Only problem, we would forget. So now when a tooth falls out, we just say, "Wonderful! Don't forget to get yourself a dollar out of the jar."  It does lose a little of its luster this way but if a child gets her money, it doesn't really matter how she gets it, right? Under the pillow or out of a jar, it's all the same in the end.

But somehow, our children have found an Alternate Tooth Fairy. This one seems to have kept up with inflation better than the usual one. So by using snail mail, or the internet, or even saving the tooth hanging by a thread and pulling it out when visiting the Alternate Tooth Fairy, the children can do much better than getting their own dollar out of a jar. And if they time it right, with a visit from the Alternate Tooth Fairy, the money may even show up under the pillow after all.

Tonight, this picture was sent to the Alternate Tooth Fairy

and a few hours later, we received this photo and accompanying message:

Show Hope what her tooth turned into.  We will get her the $5 the next time we see her.

We didn't even know the Alternate Tooth Fairy had Photoshop. Or does she? Or is it a he?