On matchmakers and adoption

Several Facebook posts have centered on adoption recently. I guess since the Good Doctor follows several adoption groups, it stands to reason that his newsfeed would have a good number of adoption-related posts. However, for some reason, they have really stuck out in the past month.

On April 18, Renee Sasser Loux shared this post: "I received a note from Facebook saying that the photo I had on my wall, of naked and starving orphans was too offensive and they took it down. I sat for a moment in disbelief at how the reality of the way so much of the world lives made someone so uncomfortable that they reported it as offensive. God help us to see truth for what it is and to fight for justice with all our heart!" Wow! As I continued down my (okay, the Good Doctor's) newsfeed, there were several videos posted by a friend (who has since been taken off the newsfeed) that were very offensive indeed. They had nothing to do with orphans or justice, but were offensive to women and contained plenty of offensive language. I may be a conservative, naive, black-and-white kind of person but this makes no sense to me.

Just this past Sunday, Renee posted this quote from her late husband: "I’m not interested in trying to figure out ways to make my life safe and preserve my comfort. That’s one of the reasons why we adopt in a radical way. On purpose, I set myself up to where I’ve got so much pressure I gotta run after Jesus…” ~Derek Loux It should be noted that Renee and Derek have an amazing story of adoption, redemption, sacrifice, and joy. This is the kind of Christianity I think we are to live. Feeling comfortable? Then it's time to do something radical! Lukewarm Christianity? Never!

That kind of radical obedience, to whatever the call is, will never be easy. That's the way it is. That's why we cling to each other. That's why we seek support. That's why we follow the Father.

This afternoon I read this quote from the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption & Permanency Network (SWAN) Facebook page:
"It has been said that adoption is more like a marriage than a birth: two (or more) individuals, each with their own unique mix of needs, patterns, and genetic history, coming together with love, hope, and commitment for a joint future. You become a family not because you share the same genes, but because you share love for each other." Joan McNAmara, Adoptive Parent

Hmm, that may be true. But I'm also a realist. I remember one night we were with a group of adoptive parents and the question was asked, "Did you have misconceptions before going into adoption? Did you think your love could change and cure everything? Did you think you'd fall in love immediately? Have you ever felt like a failure because of a behavior or disability that you cannot change?"

I guess I'm always more of a glass half empty kind of person. I feel like I went into adoption with my eyes wide open. In fact, it was more difficult for me to face the reality of a biological child being dyslexic than facing any issue with an adopted child. However, it's not all roses like some websites, quotes, parents and speakers want you to believe. That's the part that leads us directly back to the One who asked us to be generous with our lives in the first place. And that's okay.

So, I'm thinking that if we're comparing adoption to marriage, then maybe it's more like an arranged marriage. Just like they say in Fiddler on the Roof, you'll learn to like whoever the matchmaker picks! And you do. It may not be immediate. It may ebb and flow. It may be filled with many moments that bring you to your knees. But trusting the Matchmaker, I'm willing to become a family, not because we share the same genes, but because we share love for each other and the One who brought us together.

So Matchmaker, Matchmaker, bring me a match, Find me a find, Catch me a catch... Because just now I read this quote on someone's blog: “It is a poverty that a CHILD must DIE so that you may live as you wish.” -Mother Tersesa

Thank you, Mother Teresa, I'm doing what I can...