Bleeding

I have seen this quote, different backgrounds, different sites, different focus groups, several times in the past six months or so.

It hits me hard each time. Sometimes because I'm the one being bled upon. Sometimes it's just a trickle, other times it's gushing and can't be quickly stopped. And sometimes, I realize, I am the one doing the bleeding.

We all have wounds. Some go deep. Some are generational. Wounds inflicted on us by others, some we cause ourselves.

But all wounds can be healed. Every. Single. One.

I'm not saying that healing is easy. It's not. Often times it's more comfortable to keep our wounds. At least a few. They give us a false sense of entitlement to be bitter, angry, hurt, sad, impatient....

The more I've pondered this quote, the more I think about my own healing. I recognize that if I don't continue the healing process (and continue it until the day I die), not only will I continue to bleed on people who didn't cut me but when bled upon, I won't be in a position to help. Instead, feeling wounded myself, I'll open my own wounds which will begin to bleed.

Henri Nouwen and others have used the term "wounded healers" to describe those who can withstand being bled upon by another. Again, I've pondered this phrase and how we get there. I've decided that we have three choices in life. We can be...

• Wounded Wounders - We all start here, I think. Before we recognize that we are wounded and before we start to heal. There's no shame in being a wounded wounder, unless we are unwilling to move beyond. This is where we bleed all over people, sometimes without realizing it. We don't understand why and how we leave such a mess in our wake.
• Healing Wounders - We find safe places to work on our "stuff", with friends, clergy, counselors, psychiatrists, and Jesus. As wounds come to the surface, we face them and find healing. We now see our own bleeding as a sign that it's time to face the healing process again. However, when others bleed on us, we either can't, or won't, face it. We are not willing or able to allow other wounded people to bleed on us because we fear that their bleeding will open old wounds in us.
• Wounded Healers - We have done a lot of difficult work to heal our own wounds. New wounds come to the surface at times but we now have an arsenal of healing measures and we know where to go and how to get there for healing. The healing process hasn't necessarily gotten easier but we are ready for it. We have our Heavenly Father and a community of Wounded Healers to walk with us. Now, when others bleed on us, their blood cannot penetrate our old, healed wounds. Instead, we can allow their blood to flow without fear of being affected ourselves. We don't run from the flow; we allow it to connect us to the wounded one. We often find that it is our own healed wounds that draw others to us. By offering the safety of our healing presence, we can point others to the One who  holds the answers to all of our wounds. We see purpose in our healed wounds.

If we believe that we are to live as Christ, running "to the mess", bringing hope and love to those who desperately need it, then we are going to be bled upon. We need to constantly ask ourselves, "What do I need to be healed from so that another's bleeding does not open my own wounds?" Our wounds may or may not have been our fault. Moving from a Wounded Wounder to a Wounded Healer is, however, our responsibility.

"Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, 

emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, 'How can we hide our wounds?' 

so we don't have to be embarrassed, but 'How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?' When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, 

we have become wounded healers."

Henri Nouwen