Welcome to the KingZoo and Funny Farm, where we learn to live, laugh, and love together. Here you'll find snippets of life in our zoo, parenting tips we've learned along the way, reflections on shining God's light in this world, passions in the realm of orphan care and our journey as parents of a visually impaired child. Have fun!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The requisite resume

There are moments in time when you just have to break one of your steadfast parenting rules. This week brought me to one of those times.

Mariana has had a situation concerning resume writing. As she has understood the assignment, she was to create a resume that would get her a job in the career she plans to pursue. So, knowing from the age of three that she wanted to work in theater, she made a theater resume. It wasn't hard; she just modeled it after the same one that has been handed to director after director in audition after audition, which led to role after role and which had been modeled after actual professional acting resumes.

Understandably, a theater resume looks little like a traditional resume and it's likely her teacher (who has an accounting background) has never had experience with a resume such as this before. Mariana has tried to educate her to no avail. Her teacher told Mariana that she had showed Mariana's resume to two other teachers and someone who works in human resources and they all agreed with her that they had never seen a resume like that, and that she would "never be hired" with that resume. Never mind that she already has been hired with that resume, multiple times, and it has been looked at and critiqued by many professionals in the field. The assignment came back with red ink all over it and comments such as "This reminds me of a Playbill. This is not the venue for that."

So I did the only thing I could do. I made a resume for her. If the teacher wants her to "list skills and experiences to a specific job area" she will get a list of skills and experiences to a specific job area. I'm pretty certain this is exactly what she is looking for in a resume.

DANIEL, Babylon …………………………………. 605BC

Child
  • ·      Slave laborer in quarry
  • ·      Mentored in the arts of dream interpretation and handwriting analysis
  • ·      Mentored by lion whisperer


SNOW WHITE, Country Far, Far Away……...........….1750
Dwarf
  • ·      Responsible for care of orphaned princess
  • ·      Mined for jewels
  • ·      Implemented state of the art burial practices for those afflicted by Sleeping Death
  • ·      Designed and built glass coffin trimmed in gold


THE KING AND I, Siam…………………………………..1862
Princess
  • ·      Implemented race transformation with eye liner, spray tan and wig
  • ·      Increased knowledge of climate conditions in O-he-o
  • ·      Playacted in The Small House of Uncle Thomas
  • ·      Learned to waltz


PETER PAN, England…………………………………………….1912
Boy
  • ·      Served as flight instructor
  • ·      Oversaw new home construction as site manager
  • ·      Facilitated treaty with tribe of natives
  • ·      Proficient in Fairy First Aid and curing the ill with a kiss
  • ·      Discovered the secret to living forever


MILLIE, New York, New York……………………………....……1920
Stenographer
  • ·      Developed survival skills and street smarts
  • ·      Assumed flapper lifestyle
  • ·      Increased speed of elevators by fast tap dancing
  • ·      Typed 50 words per minute while tap dancing
  • ·      In depth knowledge of carpet cleaning agents
  • ·      Skilled in kitchen sanitation tasks
  • ·      Investigated white slavery ring, and captured perpetrator who was brought to justice


ANNIE, New York, New York………………………………..………….1933
Orphan
  • ·      Made things shine like the top of the Chrysler building
  • ·      Took down notorious child abuser and 2 felons
  • ·      Discovered the secret to being fully dressed
  • ·      Worked alongside President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s co-creator of the New Deal


HAIRSPRAY, Baltimore, Maryland…………………….......………1962
High School Student
  • ·      Conducted exhaustive search for mysterious bells only heard by large, big-haired, easily excitable teen girl
  • ·      Overcame oppressive, racist and hostile upbringing to integrate Baltimore, Maryland


SEUSSICAL, The Jungle of Nool, Dr. Drake by the Lake.............…1980
Bird
  • ·      Demonstrated that popping pills is bad for your tail
  • ·      Traveled the world in search of rare elephant and missing clover
  • ·      Persevered to win affection of said elephant
  • ·      Implemented strategies for healthy body image
  • ·      Freed captured elephant from a gang of monkeys
  • ·      Using the “You teach him earth and I will teach him sky” philosophy, successfully partnered with an elephant to raise an elephant bird

Credit to AFB for the wonderful resume idea and starter points. This is the one and only time I will ever do my child's homework. Sure was a whole lot more fun than algebra.


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