The Lord has a will

There's an old piece of tablet paper in my Bible, with the words to a song from my camp counselor days at Bethany Birches Camp. I had copied the words down from the song leader's chart paper, never knowing it's author or source. This morning as I opened my Bible, the piece of paper caught my eye and I googled the title. Imagine my surprise to find that it is an Amy Grant song (a very young looking Amy Grant, I might add!). You might be surprised that a product of the 80s didn't know her Amy Grant but you have to remember that only hymns were true Christian songs in many of our homes. I don't think I even knew of Amy Grant until the song, Friends, came out. I guess that one was okay because it could be used for graduations at Christian schools. Along with hymns, of course.

The song? The Lord Has a Will.

I need you Lord, in all I do.

You're always there to see me through.

I can't get by unless I lean on you, Lord.

Chorus:

The Lord has a will,

and I have a need

to follow that will;

to humbly be still.

To rest in it, nest in it,

fully be blessed in it;

following my father's will.

Your law of love is in my heart.

You wrote it there, it won't depart.

It lights my way, and keeps me out of the dark.

I even found a third verse that I never knew existed:

I thank you, Lord. Your word is sown

into my life, and there it's grown.

It's roots go deep where living waters are known.

There are days I hate following His will. Days when it feels like it'd be so much easier to do my own thing, to turn my back on traumatized kids. Days when I wonder if the effects of trauma can ever be healed and a difference made. Days when I don't want to have to look at myself and at what God wants to change in me so that I can better love these kids. Days when I say biological children are hard, why do I need harder than hard? Days when I want to join so many others who simply share needs and the lack of good in the world on social media instead of getting their hands dirty doing the hard work day in and day out.

And some days I do quit. In my mind I say I'm done. I have myself a little pity party. I hide and cry out to God. I tell Him it's too hard and that I don't want this assignment anymore. I tell Him I'm tired of being rejected. I'm tired of being lied to, blatantly disobeyed, and yelled at. I'm tired of chasing after run-aways and tip-toeing around volatile emotions and tempers.

When I'm done, and the tears are gone, and there's nothing left but weariness and quietness, He steps in and speaks words of comfort and encouragement. he rends me of His promised. he brings Scripture to mind. He points me to Jesus and says, "Look, He did the hard work, too. He followed my will. He got His hands and feet dirty. He was rejected. I don't expect you to be perfect like my Son. There is plenty of grace for your mistakes. I only ask that you rest in me. Drink from my living water and keep your roots strong. Nest in me, believing that I will care for you like a mother bird cares for her hatchlings. Allow me to open your eyes to see the blessing of following my will. Yes, there is blessing in the pain. I am there. Open your eyes and see!"

The Lord has a will,

and I have a need

to follow that will;

to humbly be still.

To rest in it, nest in it,

fully be blessed in it;

following my father's will.