I blew it

Last night I blew it. I made a mommy mistake.

I used to fool myself into thinking that I was the worst one out there; that other moms were patient, peaceful, and spoke softly all the time. But I know that isn't true. I can't compare my worst private self to someone else's best public self. Our "blew its" might not all look the same, but the moms around me are just as human as I am.

So I decided it's best to focus on what happens after I blow it and not dwell in self-pity and self-loathing.

After the kids were in bed, feeling like I needed a reminder of who each child is in Christ and why I love each one so much, I pulled out seven index cards and started writing. I put each child's name on a card, decorated each one appropriate for the child, and wrote words and phrases to describe each one, focusing more on character qualities rather than what they do.

When I was finished, each card was covered in words, and I was filled with joy and peace, ready to face everyone in the morning.

Yes, repentance and forgiveness work needed to be done with God and there will be more of that when the kids wake up. But I was able to sleep with the peace of God, knowing I am doing the best I can with a frail human body and a big, powerful God. And looking forward to a new day with my great clan!