Friday

Friday morning rolled around and it was time to get to work. The ladies in the group drove to Sarah's house to help her and her maid of honor get some things done for the wedding.

We put favors and gift bags together.

We worked on a table to be used as a wedding decoration.

And we worked on our nails. Rather, we paid someone else to do so. Quite a treat seeing as I didn't even get my nails done for my own wedding!

It was definitely fun to spend the time together.

Not quite yet

When planning this trip to Georgia, there was one little detail that needed to be ironed out before we could set off...

Is a sibling's wedding an excused absence in PA?

No one could tell me. The school handbook assured me that a death in the family would qualify. We certainly don't want that. We were told that if I were to have a baby, my children would be excused from school. Not going to happen. But no one could answer my question about a sibling's wedding.

So we decided we'd have to make it an educational trip. I printed off the forms, read them through, and promptly put them in the trash. How could I possibly justify a wedding as educational? We could talk about the birds and the bees on the way there, I suppose. That'd be health. We could all write reports on American traditions. That'd be social studies. We could even research wedding traditions. We could compare and contrast American weddings with those of another culture. We could add a persuasion paper on which traditions each child would include in their own weddings and why. There you have Language Arts. We could evaluate the snacks we eat on the way for their nutritional value and call it Science. The kids could keep track of our expenditures and call it Math.

But we're not homeschooling anymore. I didn't think real schools would find my attempts at "educational" to be as valid as some homeschool evaluators do. And I'd be hard-pressed to get any of the kids to write or add while on vacation. Except it wasn't a vacation, it was a wedding. A wedding that needed to be educational so my kids didn't rack up the unexcused absences and I get a visit from the truant officer.

There we were back to that educational vacation option. I filled out the paperwork. In triplicate. Well, actually quintuplicate.

If it's going to be educational, you have to at least drive around the closest city. And at least one museum is a must.

World of Coca Cola, here we come!

Don't be fooled. They don't really keep the secret recipe in the vault.

Victor had to complete a journal for school. He was asked, "What was the best part of your trip?" His answer? This Coke dispenser display that sounded like it was drinking a bottle of Coke and made a burping noise when finished.

The best part? Tasting Coca Cola products served around the world.

It ended up being a fun, entertaining, interactive (yay for the visually impaired, sensory-seeking 5 year old!), and (the most important part) educational museum to visit!

A little sidewalk drumming to end our visit - we can count it for music class, too!

I keep forgetting. We're not homeschooling anymore. You can take the homeschooling out of the homeschooler but you can't take the homeschooler out of the homeschooling.

Or something like that.

14

Eden, my heart was filled with joy yesterday as I prayed for you on your 14th birthday. The one for whom God clearly spoke to my heart so long ago, "You will know you are done having children when you have another girl and her name will be Eden."

Eden. A garden, created by God, where love flowed. There was unity with the Creator and oneness with all. And in the end, when pain and separation first became a reality, there was grace.

This is the perfect name for you, as only God could have known. Your creativity shines in your many arts and crafts projects. Your love for others is evident in the way you love your family, friends, and the vulnerable whom you have never met. You are a child of God. And even when confronted with ugliness from those who can't love you, or who choose not to love you, you try to see beyond the behavior and are able to extend grace.

So for your birthday this year, I and many others, are thrilled to bless you by purchasing needed items for Backpacks of Hope through the BOH Amazon wishlist. I hope that each package or envelope received speaks to you of the example you have been to me and to others. Keep creating. Keep loving. Keep serving.

I can't wait to see how God continues to use you to impact His Kingdom.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15 

My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:14-16

18

From Kenya to New York to Pennsylvania.

You've come a long way in so many areas of your life.

You are a hard worker and an excellent employee. This will take you far.

When you set your mind to something, you work at it with everything in you.

You are a deep thinker and a persevering searcher of truth. I have no doubt that you will eventually find Truth, if you search with your eyes, ears, mind, and heart open to receive it.

We love you and are glad you are part of this family.

Exodus 15:2-6,13

The Lord is my strength and my song;

He has become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise Him,

my father's God, and I will exalt Him.

The Lord is a warrior;

the Lord is His name.

Pharoah's officers are drowned in the Red Sea.

The deep waters have covered them;

they sank to the depths like a stone.

Your right hand, O Lord, was majestic in power.

Your right hand, O Lord, shattered the enemy.

In your unfailing love you will lead

the people you have redeemed.

In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

The wedding journey

In any journey, half the battle is getting there, right? So before we could have an Atlanta wedding, we had to have a journey to Atlanta. With thirteen people, coming from five different PA locations, this took some planning.

Two vehicles set off from Mechanicsburg as soon as school was out on Wednesday. Two student teachers and two college students had to wait until they could all gather in a central location after a day of school on Thursday. They took the early bird special, leaving long before the sun was up on Friday.

We all made it.

Of course there's more to the story than that. Much more. And we also remember one who could not join us. Sometimes the past is too difficult to face, making the present unbearable. And so, we pray for the one.

But I think this car load had way too much fun.

This car...well...let's just say that the ride down in two days was better than the ride home in one. Riding down, the toys were new. Buster and Ash from Sing turned out to be the best $14 we've ever spent. The 12 stories I'd recorded were fun and exciting, with headphones on and water bottle ready to be devoured. And spilled.

The trip back included traffic from multiple crashes and a kid crashing in the backseat. What should have taken 10 1/2 hours, took 13. No one wanted to talk when we got back.

But a good night's sleep cures everything and the memories of a beautiful (but hot) weekend, celebrating two very special people...priceless.

Tomorrow...

Our working definition of parenting:

Raising adults, living in community, who are independently dependent on God.

When we speak on the topic of parenting, we flesh this out, piece by piece...

Raising adults...

Living in community...

Independently...

Dependent on God...

So with that definition in mind, we can move into each phase of our child's development with arms opening wider and wider, eventually blessing our adult children on their own path of living in community, independently dependent on God.

Sometimes, when struggling with a behaviorally challenged 5 year old in public, I feel the need to scream, "But I do have three adult children who are doing quite well, thank you."

Sometimes, when struggling with a behaviorally challenged 5 year old at home, I feel the need to remind myself, "But I do have three adult children who are doing quite well, thank you."

We also acknowledge that because our children have the same free will bestowed upon us, they make their own adult choices. We can neither applaud ourselves or blame ourselves for their actions.

But we can take joy in seeing the adults they have become and are becoming, living in community, independently dependent on God.

Tomorrow marks a major step in the King family. Our oldest son is getting married. How exciting! Every joy turns into praise to God. Every worry turns into a prayer to God.

It has been my prayer, throughout their engagement, that all of this planning wouldn't just be for the wedding day, but would be for a lifetime commitment in a God-honoring relationship. As I've told them several times in the past few months, a healthy Christian marriage can be your greatest testimony to a world looking in.

I'm ready! Are they?

The prayer I've prayed over Andrew since he was little, now becomes my prayer for Andrew and Sarah, from this day forward...

Ephesians 3:14-19

For this reason I kneel before the Father,

from whom His whole family in Heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches

He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit

in your inner being, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you,

being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints,

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -

that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Adoption loss

To those on the outside looking in, adoption tends to be romanticized. Parents who adopt are told, "They're so lucky to have you." They're given a pat on the back.

Sometimes, even those who have adopted have this mindset. They give themselves a pat on the back.

And very often, adopted children romanticize what life would be like if only...

But adoption always begins with a loss. Always. None of these children have asked to be placed in a second (or third or fourth or...) home. None of them chose a new set of parents. It was chosen for them. Sometimes before they were old enough to understand what was happening. Sometimes, they understood too well that life was out of their control.

We need to be careful to always remember that while there are some children like one of our daughters who recently told me, "I love being adopted! I get to know my first family but I also have you," and "It gives me something to talk about with people."

But even those we call Disney World Adoptions start with a loss. Always.

As adoptive families, we need to remember that we walk a fine line between celebrating our children and our families and how God brought us together, while also acknowledging that this was not God's initial plan. Before sin entered the world, families were to stay intact. No one would chose drugs, alcohol, or another person over a child. No one would die. Children would be with their parents forever.

So we do celebrate today but we also remember that before us, there was another mother. There is another father.  There are more siblings. There was another country. Another culture. Another language. Another village. We don't try to replace those who came before us. We can only promise to be here for as long as we are on this earth. To love and to cherish, no matter what, for as long as we all shall live.

A new quilt with patches from our family's jeans,

and patches from Kenyan cloth.