CINDY: Growing up, I was a member of the local 4-H sewing club. One year, an older 4-H member made a wedding dress as her final project. I remember being in awe, but also thinking it a bit silly to make a wedding dress at such a young age, having no idea what the future would hold. Would she still like that style when she got married? Would it still fit? Would she even get married? But it did spark an idea that never went away – I knew that I wanted to make my own wedding dress if and when that day came.
As John and I started to talk about marriage our junior year in college, we secretly chose a wedding date a month after our college graduation the following year. I’d often remind John that I didn’t care when he popped the official question, but he needed to make sure that it was before the summer between our junior and senior years so that I had time to make my dress. I was that sure that I was going to create my own gown.
My mom, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure that this was a great idea. I made my own special occasion dresses in high school. My junior year I finished it the day before the event and my senior year I finished it with only a week to spare. My mom did not want that stress so close to my wedding day so she convinced me to go to a bridal shop to try on dresses. I did find a gown with which I fell in love, but instead of caving and purchasing the gown, I decided that I wanted to copy that style in the dress I would make.
One area of sewing that I cannot do is design a pattern from scratch and unfortunately, the design for the wedding dress that I tried on and loved could not be found in any pattern book. Not deterred, we contacted Marilyn, a church friend who was also a former sewing 4-Her. I described the gown of my dreams and she drew while I talked. When I was finished, she had drawn exactly what I was looking for.
She took that drawing, combined it with some paper from opened paper grocery bags, a little bit from one pattern, and a little bit from another one, and created her own pattern for my one-of-a-kind gown. We then made it out of old sheets (some of which I believe were wedding gifts given to my parents!). When we knew that was right, I was ready to make my gown. And much to my mom’s delight (and relief!), I finished my gown that summer, almost a whole year before our wedding date. And the “dummy” we made as a pattern became the dress I wore for our wedding rehearsal.
Through the years I often thought about whether it was worth keeping my gown. What was I going to do with it? Being so short, I never expected to have a daughter my size. And as my daughters grew, they made it well-known that the designs of the early 90s were out-dated and the aspects of my gown that I loved - the bows and fullness and waistline - were not designs that they desired to wear on their special day. So I thought it was destined to stay in its bag, to someday be disposed of by whichever child got stuck with cleaning out our house after we were gone.
Until the day Mariana started to ask if she could have a gown created from mine…
MARIANA: Like most girls, I dreamed about my wedding and wedding dress from a young age. Maybe it’s because I was a flower girl 4 times. Maybe it was because my dad is a pastor and we went to a lot of weddings that he officiated. Maybe it was because The King’s Strings performed at dozens of weddings. Or maybe it was because my sisters and I would watch Say Yes to the Dress.
When I dreamed about my dress and my wedding day, I always thought I would choose a different, dramatic, unique, “out there” kind of dress to fit my personality. I’m not a cookie cutter kind of person. I remembered that of all the weddings we attended, the ones that were most memorable were the ones that reflected the uniqueness of the couple. That is what I wanted.
My junior year in high school, my grandparents, who were still storing my mom’s wedding dress, brought it to Mechanicsburg. For whatever reason, I decided to put it on, my mom’s flower crown (which was now just a mess of dried flowers), veil, and all. I was surprised that I actually fit into it. I remembered thinking that it wasn’t that bad and that there were parts of it I actually liked.
In 2019, I made the decision to only shop sustainably for clothing; I didn’t shop retail. It was at this time that Jake and I got engaged. Soon after, my mom joked about me wearing her dress. That joke soon became a very real possibility in my mind. Not only had I always admired the fact that my mom made her own clothes and her wedding dress, but it also fit with my desire to live more simply.
I shared these thoughts with my mom. I put her dress back on and we talked about what I would want to change. My mom had saved the extra fabric and lace so we knew that changes were possible. While my mom can sew, she doesn’t think that she is good at altering so we called Marilyn, the same woman who had designed my mom’s gown. We met with her, I explained what I wanted to do, and she once again started drawing. She drew exactly what I wanted, had some good ideas of her own, took apart my mom’s gown, bleached the lace which had yellowed, and sewed my gown.
I can’t explain how much it means that my mom offered this gift to me. As much as I have given my parents grief over the years (my mom now says it wasn’t that bad), I absolutely have looked up to them and hope to live out so many of the values they have instilled in me. One of those values is to live simply so others may simply live. This is a Mennonite saying which rings true in our society today. On a day where a bride has the ability to make it “all about her” I really wanted to reflect my family in my choices throughout the day. I hoped to use my money in a purposeful way and instead of pouring money into fast fashion and cheap labor, I am thankful that I can carry on a family legacy. The ability to have a one of a kind dress that I got to design, made from my mom’s dress, is an absolute dream. I don’t have words to express how grateful I am to my mom for this gift.
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