Summer reading

We used to join with two other families of teens for a summer reading project. The adults would choose three books, one for each month of the summer. At the end of each month we'd gather at one of our houses, or a park, or maybe even an ice cream establishment, to discuss that month's book together. Great conversations would come from these times, and the teens were challenged in their Christian faith. But in the past few years, as the kids have grown, we've found it more and more difficult to coordinate the summer schedules of three families and the reading project went by the wayside.  Not willing to completely let it die, however, I came up with a plan for our family to continue the project.

Since other parents of teens were often interested in our summer project and used to ask what books we were reading, I thought I would put this information on the blog for you to use. Tailor it to fit your family's needs and interests. I tried to include books on a variety of topics, and at different reading levels (to include the 12 year old as well as the teens and maybe even some of the college students). I also just chose books that I have already read and which were on our bookshelves. They can take turns with the books and share them as necessary. Most of all, have fun together as you talk about and explore Christianity.

This is the information that was given to our children in preparation for this summer. One has ambitiously started already. And if anyone local wants to join us, and any of the dates suit, we'd love to expand our reading/discussion circle!

Summer Reading Project

We are going to do our summer reading project is a little different this year. Below you will find a list of books. Each month, you may read a different book. If you do so, we have a date scheduled to take you out to eat to discuss the book. This is completely voluntary so if you are the only person who reads a book, Mom and Dad will take you out alone. If 4 of you read the book, then we will take all four of you out to dinner. If none of you read a book, Mom and Dad will get a date night. The only other requirement is that you take one page of notes (in a journal or on a piece of notebook paper) while you read and that you bring these notes along with you. (NOTE: A page equals a page or more. A page does not equal just a few sentences. Period.) If you have already read one or more books on the list, please be honest and choose books you have not yet read.

Still confused? Just start reading. If you finish a book (with a page of notes) by June 30, you can go out to dinner. Then start reading a new book from the list and if you finish by July 29, you can go out to dinner. Then start reading a new book from the list and if you finish by Aug. 24, you can go out to dinner. If, for example, you start a book in June but don’t finish until Aug., then you can join us for dinner in Aug. (but not in June or July). Got it?

Deadlines/Dinner dates

June 30

July 29

Aug. 24

Book List

Unoffendable by Brant Hansen

Epic by John Eldredge

Fight by Craig Groeschel

Enjoy the Silence by Robbins and Robbins

Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker

But Don’t All Religions Lead to God? By Michael Green

Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris

Coals of Fire by Elizabeth Bauman

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Books and drums

Okay, so our Christmas wasn't all about the missing yeast.

It was also about books.

I would have loved getting books when I was growing up. My kids, not so much. I'm not sure what happened there; it certainly wasn't for lack of modeling and reading aloud and instructing and good old fashioned trying.

Maybe my braille reader will be my voracious reader.

In the meantime, I can give them books if I feel like it. It's my house and my gifts.

But to sweeten the pot, we told them that if they read the book by the end of January, they can choose a gift card from a stash of random cards we bought. First come, first served.

No, I'm not ashamed to succumb to bribery.

It was also the Christmas of drums. But that's nothing new. I think that might be our reality from now on. Jesse had Victor's name and knew just what to get for him.


And John managed to bring this drum home from Kenya.

Unfinished

I recently led a Bible study using the book Unfinished by Richard Stearns. The premise of the book is that we all have unfinished stories that need to be surrendered to God so they can be used for His unfinished work - to reach every nation and tongue on earth. (Matt. 24: 14) We encouraged each other to memorize Jesus'/our mission statement (Isaiah 61: 1 - 3), to grow in intimacy by committing to spending 30 minutes more with Jesus each day, and to think through our individual stories to share at the culmination of the class. To say that I was blessed by this group of women would be an understatement. I can't wait to see how each one of us is going to impact the world for Christ by spreading His love to those with whom we come in contact.

As each of us shared our stories and how we see God leading us into our calling, there were some themes and truths that came up over and over. I asked the women for permission to share these truths and since none of them are specific to any one individual, everyone agreed.

So here is what I learned from this brave group of women:

-We all have residual effects of having grown up with broken, sinful parents, siblings, teachers, and friends - the people close to us who loved us and cared for us.  This gives me hope as I parent my children because God is there in the midst of my failures. He will use the broken people in my past just as He will use my brokenness in my interactions with those I love.  

-At some point in our lives, we need to recognize that we have a choice - to be bitter and angry about things that happened in our past, or to seek healing and forgiveness, and to move on. We can become bitter or angry or continue to believe the lies that are rooted in childhood or we can allow God to heal and work through them. It's often not a one-time experience but is the ever-going work of God in our lives.

-Bringing our stories to the light reminds us that we are not alone. Satan likes to keep our stories hidden so he can use them against us and feed us lies about our inadequacies and brokenness. But darkness cannot be found in the light!

-What we see on the outside of each person we meet hides so much! Remembering this will change how we interact with others.

-It’s when we move from “knowing about God” to “knowing God” that He can start to use us for His glory. We have to pursue Him. There is no other way. Related to this, it’s okay that we don’t completely understand God.

-God is faithful!

-God is an amazing, creative Author and every single story is good!

-Nothing is beyond God’s redemption!

-God uses our brokenness and blesses it. One person said it this way: God holds our brokenness under the blessing of our belovedness.

-Our greatest desire should be to see God glorified - no matter what comes our way.

-To God, everything in my life makes sense. Nothing is insignificant. And I don’t have to try to figure it out.

-I am a child of God!

Another reader in the family

As an avid reader, I love it when another one of my children catches the reading bug for him or herself. With Victor, I didn't know how and when he would develop a love for books, or if he ever would. We've tried to surround him with books; books that make noise, books that have tactile experiences on the pages, and books in Braille. We read to him often. We've even started to make book boxes where we take a story and fill a box with items that relate to the story. As we read we give him each item to hold.

I didn't need to worry. Victor loves books and often asks for "more book". And just like a sighted child, he has started to memorize books that have been read to him. His current favorite? Pinkalicious. Can you tell that his 9 year old sister reads to him, too?  It goes something like this:

Babble Babble Babble Babble Babble Babble Cupcake? Turn page. Babble Babble Babble Babble Babble Babble PINK! Turn page...

It's not what it looks like; he's not trying to get away, this is how they were reading together.

He often goes into his room to sit on his chair and read books. He also empties all the books from the shelf to the floor but it's a trade-off I'm willing to make.

Summer reading again

Tomorrow marks the last day of school for one child, next Tuesday is the last day for a few more, 1 is finished the end of next week, and one more child the week after that. Ahhh, they might be thinking, summer vacation, no school, no work, no homework, no books.

But they'd be wrong. The King kids always have to read over the summer. There's daily independent reading but there's also the summer book club with 2 other families. Together we choose one book for each month, the older kids and parents all read the assigned book each month, and then we get together to discuss it at the end of the month, usually over ice cream but always over food. One year we even had the author join us for the discussion.

We've read books by C.S. Lewis, Josh McDowell, and Heidi Baker. We've covered topics like living your faith in America, and loving like Jesus.

In the past I've blogged about it after the fact and many other parents of teens have expressed interest but since summer is over, it never happens.

So this year I'm ahead of the game. We've already conferred with the other two families in our little book club and have come up with this summer's game plan. For anyone interested, feel free to copy our reading plan:

June - Crazy Love by Francis Chan
July - Moral Revolution by Kris Vallotton
August - God Guides by Mary Geegh*

We are often asked how we get our kids to read during the summer. More importantly, how we get them to read "boring Christian books". It's easy, we force them. Actually, there's a bit more to it than that. Here are some tips that we've found helpful:

1. The overall family value of obedience, no matter the age. Summer reading is something we do. It's an expectation and except on one occasion when a child chose not to read the book (and also did not get to participate in the end-of-the-month fun), all have respectfully complied.

2. The parents read the book, too. We're not asking our kids to do something that we won't do. Well, I can speak only for myself here. The Good Doctor might have a few confessions to make.

3. Peer pressure in the home. The older teens who are around read the book which in turn creates positive peer pressure for the younger teens.

4. Peer pressure outside the home. Because we partner with two other families, and because each of us takes advantage of positive peer pressure, all of the teens will do what the other teens are doing.

5. Food. They are teens, after all. Each end-of-the-month discussion includes a treat, either homemade at someone's house or bought at an ice cream shop or other specialty store. Maybe you could pair your discussions with a tour of local fare that you've never tried before.

If you and your friends decide to join the fun with your teens, we'd love to hear about it.


*A note about this book. You can purchase it on the website linked above. You can also find it on Amazon for $1 more. If you are like The Good Doctor, you will take one look at the author, call her outdated, and question me as to why we are reading this book. Trust me. You will be changed by reading this short but simple yet so profoundly encouraging book. As far as the author looking outdated, I suggested to The Good Doctor that they might be able to find a more recent photo of the author but I'm not certain many of us would appreciate the photo of an exhumed and photographed person, no matter how up-to-date.

Science with Mom or Dad

Okay, this is for everyone who keeps asking how to educate your children about the facts of life...
You have to first understand the irony of people asking me this question as there are certain words and topics that I have always had difficulty discussing. My brother would purposely walk around the house naming body parts just to cause me to blush. A psychotherapist could earn a lot of money trying to figure out all the whys and roots of my innocence but it is what it is. So when God gave us two boys first, I came up with this wonderful plan: The Good Doctor would do the bulk of the sex education with our boys and I would take the girls. Since there weren't any girls, I thought I was safe.  I was wrong.

Now, before you start composing your letters warning me that both parents must model and teach healthy sexuality in the home and that it can't be left to just one parent or to limited times in a child's life, let me assure you that I have done my part with both the male and female children and we do try to maintain open communication at all times. But when it comes down to some actual teaching of the birds and bees and mens-of-the-nation, we do make sure we cover our bases by using a book series and we do separate into male parent/male child or female parent/female child subgroups. This is to make the child more comfortable. Or maybe it's to make Mom more comfortable. Either way, it works for us.

After The Good Doctor had a few successful rounds of education with his sons, it was my turn with a certain daughter. While The Good Doctor was able to read the chosen book with little drama, no further questions and a simple "good" answer to his final question of how do you feel about this, it was not to be for me. Had I known then what I know now, I would have made a different plan; The Good Doctor would teach the girls and I would teach the boys. Consider this your warning. I can read the exact same book, to a child of the exact same age, get questions right after the first page and continuing well after the last page has long been turned. He reads and is done.

So, for all of you Moms and Dads who might be as squeamish as me with this topic, let me introduce you to the series that has saved me: The New Learning About Sex series published by Concordia. And even if you are not squeamish, this series helps you figure out what to teach and when it is appropriate to teach it. The six book set is separated by age. They used to have videos but I never recommended them to anyone as they were old and as corny as the word corny. The introduction to each book gives a little explanation and rationale into what is being taught at that age and why.

A few years back, 2 male children found "Science with Dad" written in that column of their lesson plans. They were excited for days, not believing their good luck in bidding Mom's teaching a brief adieu while Dad, the more fun parent, was obviously taking over. Suffice it to say, they were blindsided. I came home after that particular lesson to two very sheepish looking boys who were not quite as excited as they had been. When I asked about their science class, one child said in a deep, manly voice, "We had science with Dad. We learned how babies are made," and the second very quietly whispered, "It was disgusting." They didn't mind returning to Science with Mom the next day, even if it was a boring lesson on astronomy.

Sometimes Mom wins after all.

One light

Life often doesn't go the way we planned. We know the words; loss, death, disability, sickness. One moment the journey is going exactly as you thought it would and the next you are, as I often say, the member of a club you didn't ask to join.

For Marie Monville, life first sent a curveball in the death of her premature daughter. Next came a miscarriage. But on October 2, 2006, Marie's life sent her into a club where there were no other members. Her husband, Charlie Roberts, called her to tell her that he wouldn't be coming home that night. He told her to look for a letter on the dresser. She read it and called 9-1-1 as she realized that it was a suicide note. She was left with more questions than answers but the next several hours would reveal that before killing himself, Charlie had entered an Amish schoolroom and started shooting. Other than that morning's call, Marie had had no warning.

Yet as she processed the events of October 2nd during the following days, weeks, months, and years, she realized that God had been preparing her in ways that she couldn't comprehend, for events that were unimaginable. Eventually her healing led her to write a book, One Light Still Shines.  I picked up this book thinking I was going to read more of the events of that day, from a different perspective than earlier books I'd read on the subject, Amish Grace and Think No Evil. What I found instead, was an encouraging collection of kisses from, to Marie and her family, demonstrating beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was right there with her in the midst of the most unimaginable storm. I couldn't put this book down.

She begins her prologue with these words:

I'd love to tell you a love story.

And ends the prologue with these:

No matter how tragic your circumstances, your life is not a tragedy. It is a love story. And in your love story, when you think all the lights have gone out, one light still shines.  Step into my story and I'll show you how to see that light.

How does one face the inevitable pitfalls of life? If Marie can see grace and redemption in the midst of finding herself with the unwanted title of "wife of the Amish schoolhouse shooter," then I can most certainly find grace, redemption, and light in each and every one of my life's twists and turns.

At one point she tells her children that they are going to go on a treasure hunt to find all of the gifts that God is sending their way, just for them, to remind them of who He is and that He is still with them. Want to join me on the same hunt?

Wonder

As I've traveled through various slices for the March Slice of Life Story Challenge,

I have found several teachers who are currently reading R.J. Palacio's Wonder to their class. I was drawn to these posts first of all because this is our current read-aloud and secondly because I love to hear of teachers who are using literature to help their children understand differences.

Caution: This post contains a spoiler. I included it because I believe it is not going to ruin the book for anyone, but want you to be forewarned.

As a young girl who already knew she wanted to be a teacher and a high school student who explored various opportunities working with students with special needs, my heart will always be for the downtrodden, the bullied, and those who struggle in any way. Exposing my children to stories with these themes is a priority for me.

I've wanted to read Wonder to them since it was published. Several times I put myself on the library's waiting list, only to have it arrive when we were in the middle of another book and not ready to begin. Then I'd have to return it in two weeks with no chance of renewal since it was still on hold for someone else. And of course I had that three month sabbatical when I was in Utah with Victor. When we started our until on blindness, we also started reading Wonder together. Finally!

Just as everyone told me, and as I continue to read on the current blogs, the book is an excellent read. Every child should be exposed to August and his experiences as a 5th grader in school for the first time,  enduring the cruel treatment of others in response to his facial deformities. Of course, in the wonderful world of literature, by the end of the book, there are those who see him for who he truly is. Life doesn't always turn out that way but if we can change the hearts of a few of our children toward others, maybe we can make the world a better place for the Augusts of this world. This is my theme as I read this book, and others like it, with my children.

Other books we have enjoyed together on the topic of understanding differences of many kinds:

Betti on the Highwire by Railsback
Flying the Dragon by Lorenzi
Home of the Brave by Applegate
Hurt Go Happy by Rorby

I'd love to hear about others!

Summer reading

Recently a link has been circulating on Facebook on the topic of why so many young people are leaving the church.  This particular link blames the focus found in many children's ministry programs.  While I agree that many children's Sunday School programs are "fluff and stuff" and fall more in the category of entertainment than spiritual education, I believe we need to look at ourselves as parents before we blame the church.  It has never been the church's responsibility to raise our children and to be our children's primary Bible teachers.  Deuteronomy makes it very clear that the primary spiritual education of our children belongs in the home.  I expect my church to complement my teachings, but not to be the primary teacher.  Unfortunately, it's too often the opposite.  I wonder, then, if churches should place a larger emphasis on parent education than on the education of our children.

What would it look like if more of us made spiritual training a priority in our homes?  Yes, I suppose it could put us in the category of "mean moms" and "crazy dads", particularly if our children are not used to this.  That doesn't scare me; I'm a mean mom by nature.  It's nothing new; we established that a year ago, and went into more detail here.  Making my children do school in the summer seems to be the icing on the cake.  This summer, however, they got a break while I was gone.  No one to enforce such schooling, no one wanting to be considered as mean as me.  And so, my children, like most others in the US, will go to school in the fall having lost valuable skills.  I'll have a meltdown later.  Academic education aside, shouldn't I place the spiritual education of my children even higher than that?

I've often thought of having my children read Biblically-based and theologically solid books and then having a discussion about them.  Mariana is a voracious reader and will read anything I recommend to her.  The boys on the other hand, not so easy. So when I saw on Facebook that friends of ours, Mark and Cheryl Hopkins, were looking to have their boys read Christian living books this summer, we conspired with them.  Something like, "How about if you pitch the idea, we'll blame you for the idea, together we could choose 3 books for the summer, and have our children read and then discuss one a month?"

And it has worked!  We started with C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters.  It was a bit heavy for the younger children (we included those aged 12 and up) but an audio version did help them.  I read the book as well but was not present for the discussion.  I did hear great reviews.  As the Good Doctor noted, "I was pleasantly surprised at how all of the kids actually came to share about how C.S. Lewis impacted them.  I was not completely sure at how our 12-year-olds would be able to interact with the material, but once the conversation got started, we were all able to interact with the kids on more of an adult level."

This month we read They've Crossed the Line: A Patriot's Guide to Religious Freedom by Stephen Bloom.  Since we know State Representative Bloom and his wife, The King's Strings having played for his campaign fundraiser each of the past two years, we asked Steve and Sharon to join us for the discussion.  They chose Leo's Ice Cream, in their district, as our meeting place.  We were happy to oblige.  We asked questions and heard more from his perspective; why he wrote the book and what he wants the reader to learn and to take from it.  Each of our children was challenged to remember that if they don't help to educate others about our freedoms, we could be one generation from losing them.  Our discussion definitely benefited from his expertise and encouragement (and the ice cream).

The third book will be chosen this week but will likely be a topic that will help our children understand the roots of their faith.  As we see our children reach college age, we want to be certain that they know who they are and why, as well as what they believe and why, before they go off to colleges (private or secular) that will try to deconstruct their beliefs.  We've seen far too many young adults flounder in this environment and have sadly watched friends and family walk away from the faith.

We highly recommend that you find a way to encourage your child(ren) to read books that encourage and strengthen their faith.  And not having the book is no excuse; we have several copies of each of the books we've done.  I'm sure you can put the request on Facebook and borrow them from friends.  The church and/or public library might have some as well.  The school year tends to be full of other projects and assignments, but I wonder if we can keep this going for more than the summer months?  We have learned that it's very helpful to partner with another family.  First of all, you can each blame the other family for the idea.  That way your kids can't be angry with you and they will realize that there are other mean (or crazy) parents out there.  We have learned that each family, as well as each individual, brings a different perspective to the discussion.  As Mark said, "The resulting conversation is rich."  He added that partnering also brings an automatic accountability to the assignment.  We have also realized that with some books, such as the works of C.S. Lewis, it might be better to discuss at several points along the way, rather than waiting until the very end as there is just so much gold in one book.  Oh, and most importantly, don't forget the bribe.  For the first book discussion, breakfast treats and for the second, that famous Leo's ice cream.

If you're thinking that this sounds like a great idea but it's just too late to begin, think again.  You still have one month left, a great opportunity to start with one book.  Just think, you can tell your kids that they've got it easy, the King and Hopkins kids had to read three this summer.  If you have no idea what book to choose, I leave you with the list with which we began.  Maybe one book on here will be the perfect one for your family.

• Every Man's Battle (Arterburn, Stoeker, Yorkey) (Every Woman's Battle)
• The Light and the Glory (Young Reader's Edition) (Peter Marshall)*
• Compelled By Love (Heidi Baker)
• The Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis)*
• (New) Evidence That Demands a Verdict (Josh McDowell)*
• Purpose Driven Life (Rick Warren)
• Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis)*
• The Ragamuffin Gospel (Brennan Manning)
• The Case for Christ - Student Edition (Lee Strobel)
• Why Jesus? (Ravi Zacharius)*
• Where is God When it Hurts? (Phillip Yancey)
• Knowing God (J.I. Packer)
• Crazy Love (Francis Chan)
• They've Crossed the Line: A Patriot's Guide to Religious Freedom (Stephen Bloom)

Footloose in Utah

Guess who's here!!!!!!!!!!

MomMom (my mom) and Mariana arrived from PA this morning!

I had a nice little surprise planned for Mariana on the trip from the airport to the hospital.  You see, I found out a few weeks ago that Footloose was filmed in Utah and many of the locations are right near me.  You have to understand that I didn't see many movies when I was growing up and we weren't allowed to dance and weren't allowed to listen to "that" kind of music so when the movie Footloose came out, I could relate.  I loved that movie.  Okay, I was obsessed with it.  It defined my childhood!  When Mariana was old enough, I decided to introduce her to my childhood favorite.

She made fun of it.  She called it cheezy.

She's wrong.  And, anyway, she was stuck in the car with me as driver so if I just happened to drive right to the mill from Footloose, which just happened to be right off the highway en route to the hospital, well, what could she do?

She was so excited.

If she doesn't watch it I'm going to take her to the church from Footloose next!

I found out that High School Musical was filmed in Utah, too.  Don't worry, I have no interest in finding those sites.

In talking with Victor's nurse today, who talked with the NP, they concur with my theory that all of Victor's bradies occur either during a non-bottle feed, or just after and that they are being caused by reflux and/or spitting up each and every time.  So, he's allowed to have all of his feeds by bottle and he is to be held upright for 15-30 minutes afterward.  He's also allowed to use the swing when I'm not there, to also keep him upright.  I have been praying for this day!  Please pray that my gut is right and that not only does it stop the bradies, but that he also gains weight because that's part of the deal, too.  In related news, Victor pulled his NG tube out this morning so I guess he knew something that we didn't know and thankfully he doesn't need it put back in.

Lots of snuggles with Mariana today and MomMom gets her turn tomorrow.

Interrupted

When I grow up I want to be funny and speak like Tim Hawkins.  I also want to be funny and write like Jen Hatmaker.  Her blog is great and I loved reading Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.  On Monday I received a package from a college friend and it contained the Hatmaker's book, Interrupted: An Adventure in Relearning the Essentials of Faith.  I started reading immediately.  And now I have a new book on my Dangerous Books list.

Even if you're not a reader, Hatmaker's books are for you.  She writes with a simple, conversational, blog-like style.  She is honest and admits her weaknesses and pitfalls in her journey.  She doesn't write from a you-have-to-do-it-just-like-me perspective but rather from a heartfelt retelling of her journey and in such a way that you want to experience the same freedom and joy that she has found.

Hatmaker writes from a very missional perspective.  I admit that I first heard the term missional about 20 years ago and I didn't understand it.  No one really had a good working definition and it seemed that it was each to his own interpretation.  I've had Christians tell me that they despise the term.  I, on the other hand, was noncommittal because I was still trying to find someone to definitively tell me what it meant to be a missional church, missional community, or even a missional person.  In the forward of her book, Hatmaker's husband quotes Rick Meigs' description of missional as "a life where 'the way of Jesus' informs and radically transforms our existence."  I don't know if that's the definition everyone uses, but for me, I'm in.

And of course I love her book.  It is the same message Francis Chan preaches and writes about.  It's the same transformation Richard Stearns took in going from successful CEO in corporate America to president of World Vision.  She tells of the same journey that took Katie Davis from popular high school senior to adoptive mother living among the poorest of the poor in Uganda (Ann Voskamp recently visited Katie Davis and wrote this about her experience).  And it's the same pilgrimage that's captivated me for the past 10 years and just won't let me go.

If the word missional turns you off, call it whatever you want; I'm not one to argue semantics.  Taken down to it's root, it's what Christ-following was meant to be; serving others and not self, placing God's Will above my own, and sacrificing for love, grace, and justice.  That's the 'way of Jesus'.

And that's why I'm in Utah while my family is in Pennsylvania.  That's why I'm willing to open my home to the least of these.  And that's why you are using your gifts and time to serve a motherless family in PA.  Our churches and communities are not going to change the world by sitting back and hoping the government, or mismanaged agency, or even just "someone else" will do it.  We can, and are, called to work alone.  But we've also been called to work in community.  That's what took Jen Hatmaker and her husband to go from "playing church" and religious games to a church that at its very core serves.  And while my first thought is that I want to pack up and move to Texas to join them, I recognize that we can start right where we are.  I can start right where I am.

A wonderful nurse took the time to invite me to have dinner with her last night.  It was so nice to have something to look forward to during the day, and to have conversation over a meal.  I was so blessed.

Victor continues to devour each and every bottle and gets very angry at the nurses during his non-bottle feedings, wanting the bottle, not a tube feeding.  I was told again today that this is just another amazing moment in his healing process.  He should not have such a great suck.  He should not have the stamina to finish the whole bottle.  But he does.  Amazing VICTORies everyday.

Pray for the following things which will lead us to discharge:
1. No more bradies.  He needs to go one week without a brady.  The've been once every other day, usually at night.
2.  Adding more bottle feedings each day.  Some babies do really well but then have a day or two where they are worn out and need a break.  Pray that this doesn't happen and that we can continue on the right path to all bottles, all feedings.
3.  That he gains weight while taking his own feeds.  So far, so good.  Today he weighs 5 lb. 2.5 oz.
4. That we can coordinate his discharge and a hearing and going home with minimal time off for John.
5. NO setbacks of any kind!

Also pray for my family at home.  They've had various illnesses.  Pray especially for Andrew who is being treated for Lyme disease.

Pray for my mom and Mariana who will be flying out here on Sat. and spending most of the week with me.

Pray for John who will be leading a family camp with adoption emphasis next week.  This is a commitment we had on the calendar for over a year.  Who knew?  John will be speaking solo with things are as they are.

You can step out, too

I am so thankful for the many kind comments and encouraging words from all of you.  I am humbled.  But I am also a bit uncomfortable. I don't see myself as all of those things, amazing, a hero, full of faith, having no fear.  Because I'm not the first three and I do have fear.

Maybe you think those things because we were crazy enough to step out of the boat; to look at Christ's face and to follow with childlike (crazy?) faith.  But please don't think that's something for just a few select people.  We are all called to love with a crazy love, to follow a Gospel without holes, and to be radical in our faith.  (Click on each link to find the book that gave me the kick in the pants that I needed, at just the right time in my walk with God)

If you want to be amazed, if you want to see a hero, if you want to see faith without fear, then look to Jesus.  It is His example that led us to where we are today.  Mother Teresa put it so well,

"Stay where you are.  Find your own Calcutta.  Find the sick, the suffering, and the lonely right there where you are - in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools.  You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see.  Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society - completely forgotten, completely left alone."

It has nothing to do with John and Cindy but everything to do with Jesus' commands like this one in Matthew 25:31-40

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne.  All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.


“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’


So please don't put me on a pedestal.  I am the same as you.  The only difference may be that you haven't taken that first step out of the boat yet.  You can.  If you want to, you will.  Let it be your daily prayer, "God, where is my Calcutta?  To whom do you want me to show love today?  I want to step out of the boat with you.  Where shall we go?"  He will show you.  You will know. He will take your passions, your gifts, and the things in life that bring righteous anger, and you will know that THIS is your Calcutta.  

And you, too, will find joy in the journey, despite the circumstances that are bound to come, because there is joy in taking our eyes off ourselves and keeping them on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.  As I often have to remind my younger children, It's not about you.  Okay, my older children, too.  Yes, myself, too.

"When you take that first step

Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go
So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes and you can
Walk on the water too"
-Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole

It is my prayer that someday, Victor will step out of his own boat, drawing on his testimony of healing and miracles, and that he will find his Calcutta.  This is my prayer for each of my children.  And for each of you.  I do not pray that life will be easy, only that you keep your eyes on Jesus and love the least of these.  It is my prayer that you will be uncomfortable so that others may be comfortable.

Victor is improving at a snail's pace each day.  We'll take it.  Praise God!  

In honor of National Kangaroo Care day yesterday, Victor is now allowed skin-to-skin twice a day.  Actually I think it had more to do with his progress than the celebration but it sounds like a great reason to go out and get some ice cream, don't you think?  Speaking of ice cream, I've had to change my routine.  Since nothing is open on Sundays around here, I am changing my ice cream days from Wednesday and Sunday to Monday and Friday.  I'm giving you a warning since control freaks such as myself don't handle change very well.  This could be bad.  And since the fam sent me Cold Stone gift cards for Mother's Day, well, I just have to use them.

Pray that he gains weight.  They have added more calories to his feeds to help bulk him up.

Waiting and circling

One of the readings in Draw the Circle focused on the Israelites circling Jericho.  Previous to this reading, I had never considered this act of faith to be a type of prayer.  I felt a nudge to "circle" but circle what?  Assuming that my house and our new addition were our Jericho, my first impulse was to get out and start walking around the house.

I pictured that from the neighbors' point of view and decided that it probably wasn't the best choice.

So I settled upon circling the block.  Every day, regardless of the weather.  I didn't take into account that there might be a day of so much taxiing that circling would be impossible.  Oops.  But other than that one day I've been out there without fail, giving the neighbors something to talk about.  It's not legalistic; it's simply obedience to a nudge.  It's not assuming that God is going to give me what I want, when I want it, just because I'm doing what He's asked; it's resting in Him, learning as we go.

And funny, but what at first sounded like drudgery, has become an act that I look forward to.  I pray circles as I circle.  I pray for each of my children and for the Good Doctor.  I pray for any future children.  If there is a match waiting for our decision, I pray for that.  If our profile is being shown to an expectant or birth mom, I pray for her.  I ask God to give her peace in her decision.  I ask that her baby would be placed in a home where he or she will be safe, loved, and able to grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.

And as we wait and wait and wait, I circle, and circle, and circle.  I pray and pray and pray.  I'm growing and the kids are growing.  And somewhere, there's a child that's growing, either still unborn, or under the watchful eye of a mother or foster mother.  And someday the wait will be over and we'll get to grow together.

Waiting and praying

About a month ago I started reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson to the youngest four during our daily devotions.  We loved it.  Soon after, I heard about his newer publication, Draw the Circle, a 40 day devotional and prayer challenge, based on his bestseller.  With Lent coming up, I decided it'd be a great theme upon which we could focus.  So we switched midway.  I offered the challenge up to the whole family but in the end it was only those over which I still have devotional control who accepted the challenge.  That's okay.  The five of us are growing in leaps and bounds in our personal prayer lives and pressing into God's desires for each of us.

Soon after we began our Lenten series, Isaac found out that there's a youth version of The Circle Maker and he wondered if we should be reading that instead.  I asked him, "Do you understand what this book is about?  Do you enjoy the stories and examples?  Are you being challenged?  Are you learning about prayer?"  The answer was yes, of course.  "Then I see no reason to change."  My family is used to me giving them adult books on Christian living, but if yours are not, then by all means, thank you Mr. Batterson for giving us more than one option.

To find out what the kids have been getting from this series, read here.

For me, it was the perfect topic during this season of waiting, spiritual attack, and uncertainty.  I soon found out that I wasn't the only one in our adoption group doing this study.  In fact, it seems as if several churches across the nation have taken this 40 day prayer challenge and made it a corporate challenge complete with prayer walls to circle the prayers God hands down to each person.  As a visual learner, that gives me goose bumps!  Trying to figure out which wall of my house could be commandeered as a prayer wall.  Hmmmm.

The first concept that resonated with me was that of not just praying for something, but praying through.  When I was honest with myself I realized that too often I pray for something until I get an answer, whether that be yes, no, maybe, or wait.  Once it appears as if my request is not being answered, I quit praying for it.  Batterson's challenge is to continue praying, to pray through.  At first I found I really had to force myself to persevere when I really just wanted to get discouraged and give up with some form of pity party for those whom the Lord hasn't yet answered.  Now I see my prayer muscle strengthening on an almost daily basis as I persevere through days of doubt and depression.

The second lesson I've taken away from this study is to praise God as if He has already answered my request.  As the saying goes, and many songs have adapted, praising Him in the storm, or in the waiting.  This is also something that Eden has adapted, and which she mentioned in her review of the book.

Mark Batterson makes it very clear that he isn't encouraging a name it-claim it or health and wealth kind of prayer life.  Our prayers have to come from passions and desires that God has first placed within us.  We need to be discerning and searching first, obedient second.  We need to get out of the boat, praising God in the act.  The answer will come.

So where are we in our adoption journey?  Still waiting.  And praying.  But this we know, every day we are one day closer to seeing our child.

My dad's book

While at the beach this summer I experienced a first. No, I didn't wear a bikini. Nor did I go surfing. And I certainly didn't come face to face with a shark.

I did, however, borrow a book from my dad. Me, the book lover, swiped a book from my dad, the man who rarely read while I was growing up and who even now prefers audio books to the paper version.

But while at the beach he kept talking about this book he was reading and he continued to steal moments to read just another page while we were between activities. I expected to hear, "Just one more chapter," when I called him to dinner which would have been a nice turn-around since that's what my family remembers me saying. So when he got up from his beach chair to take HopeAnne into the ocean, I snagged that book and started reading. Until he returned and I had to give it up. Lucky for me he didn't take it along to the Mets game the next day so I got a whole day to finish that book. I would have been very upset if I'd had to return home without reaching the end.

The book, which I highly recommend, is Hiking Through: One man's journey to peace and freedom on the Appalachian Trail by Paul Stutzman. My initial interest came, of course, from my dad's enthusiasm. Beyond that, however, I'm intrigued with the trail, which criss-crosses several roads we traverse on a regular basis. Last year I found a chapter book that I read to the children, Halfway to the Sky by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley. And just maybe, there's a small part of me that wishes I was adventurous enough to say I had tried something like a thru-hike.

The author begins his journey as part of the healing process after the death of his wife. He finds that he's not the only one hiking for this reason and writes the book to encourage husbands and fathers to cherish every moment with their loved ones. But his writing is so engaging that it will strike a chord with many readers for a variety of reasons. Some may identify with the grieving process, others with the adventurous side, and still others with an interest in the trail.

And if you're Mennonite, or used to be Mennonite, you should read this book because you'll likely find out that your best friend's uncle worked with a woman who went to the Mennonite high school with the second cousin of the author. Or maybe your husband, like the author, is a descendent of the Hochstetlers and Stutzmans who formed the first organized Amish Mennonite Congregation in America in 1740 but which was disbanded following an attack by Native Americans. The author passed very close to the memorial in Pennsylvania on his walk north. The husband passes nearby every time he travels east on Route 78. Doesn't mater the connection, I'm sure there's one there.

I had lunch today at a cafe in a trail town. Seated at one of the tables was a bearded man with overloaded backpack. I wanted to ask him his story and why he was on the trail. But I didn't. Maybe he'll write a book so I can read it someday.

Crying or brave?

Yesterday was about screen time at home. Today it's about screen time on the big screen.

Admittedly, I have limited experience in the ways of the big screen. My family didn't go to movies. My first experience at a movie theatre was some move about Raggedy Ann and Andy and it was my great aunt who tried to widen my horizons. She quickly regretted that decision as a scene with a whirlpool of chocolate (at least this is what I remember) frightened me so badly that I just cried through the whole movie. A few years later she took me to see Bambi and anyone who knows me knows that the death of an animal is going to create only one emotion in me, and that emotion produces tears. A lot of tears. She said she was never going to take me to another movie. But a few years after that she did try again, only she wasn't very smart and she didn't catch on very quickly. The movie she chose was Benji. A movie about a dog who gets dog-napped and drugged? Yeah, you guessed it, I cried. A lot. That was the end of Auntie Frances' attempts to bring me into the big world of media.

My movie-going days took a big hit and it was years before I again found myself in a theater.

As a college education major, I was placed in a second grade classroom for a short field experience. During our time there, we were to survey the children on a particular topic and then to research that topic. I chose movie violence and the viewing experience of second graders. I was appalled. Remember, this was in the 80s but even at that time, a large percentage of the children had already seen PG-13 movies, and a few had watched R rated movies. Halloween and horror movies were listed as favorites by more than one child; movies that as an adult I wouldn't watch. And this wasn't a city school. It was a small community with a fairly large Christian population. In fact, the public school held an optional Bible class before school each day.

So my poor children (the ones who think I am mean, unreasonable, and archaic) also have to deal with a hyper-vigilant anti-big screen mother. Actually, that's an incorrect statement. I'm not against movie watching, I'm just against indiscriminate movie watching. Any movie they want to see has to first be researched by moi, mostly on pluggedinonline.com. The older ones have figured out that unless they can say they have read the review on this website, they shouldn't even bother to ask if they can see a certain movie. That college research told me more than I ever wanted to know about early screen experiences and desensitization. It makes me heartbroken to know that so many Christian families have no screening process (pun intended) before viewing. It is our job to protect our children when necessary, to teach our children to be discerning always, and to shelter them from that which they are not ready. When they are ready, then we need to be willing to discuss with them the discernment process and the further evaluation of what they have seen.

Why do I prefer an online source like Plugged In over reviews by friends? Because we all draw the line in different places. Our children are all different. Some are more sensitive than others. Some or more susceptible to repeating behaviors that they see. Some cry at every movie, like me. I need a review like I find on Plugged In to tell me everything so that I can make an informed decision. Some of what I read in a review makes me laugh. Concern over a cartoon chipmunk in a bikini? Really? At least I know it's thorough! Why don't I just watch the movie myself first? I cry at every movie, remember? And can't stand to watch a movie more than once (except for Titanic or The Help or similar movies).

The recent hype over the movie Brave had me curious. I know that everyone is going to be seeing it. The question is bound to come up at my house. I'm glad others have done the work for me. Armed with two reviews found here and here, I have my informed decision. Do you have yours?

Revolting!

I just finished reading Upstairs the Peasants are Revolting by Dorcas Smucker. My aunt was the one who first referred this book to me. She told me that she thought of me as she read it.

Hmmm...was it because the author is Mennonite? Or because she has a tribe of children? Was it because of her connection to Kenya and her adopted Kenyan son? All of these reasons?

With all of these reasons, I have to say I was at first drawn to the book mostly because of the title. I so wish I had thought of it first. I love it for all of its implications. There are days when the peasants are revolting because of a family decision which they find too restrictive or incomprehensible. Other days the peasants are just plain revolting either because of their behavior, lack of grooming, or choice of activity. Some days they are revolting (descriptive) and revolting (action) at the very same time.

In the end I enjoyed this quick read (I started it this morning and just finished it) mostly for the last chapter which chronicles the family's voyage into family missions at an orphanage in Kenya and the subsequent adoption of one of the boys there. Boy can I related to the author's desire to "...give our children an accurate perspective on how blessed they are in relation to most of the world. How do we teach them that their blessings come from God with a responsibility to use them wisely and share with others? And how do we teach them that other cultures have much to teach us, and that every person in the world is as valid and valuable as they are?"

I ask myself these same things frequently, summed up for me in one all-encompassing question: How can we as a family combat the American ideals of consumerism, materialism, and entitlement? The answer often seems vague and too difficult to attain yet we press on. The reality is that we're all on a journey of seeing our American life through God's eyes rather than our own. We can't look to our neighbors to find the answer, Christian or otherwise. We can only look to God to reveal to us our blindspots and entanglements.

And then we can sell all we have, give to the poor, and move to some third world country to serve in an orphanage and adopt all the kids there.

Just kidding, Kids.

I think.

Of dogs and men

Those who know me well can probably guess my all-time favorite children's book. Well, it's not exactly a book, it's a whole series. And I know I'm not really original here, there's a whole following for this series, but it's still my favorite. Of course, I'm talking about the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I can remember when my mom first read Little House on the Prairie to me. I'm fairly certain that she read this one first, even though it's not the first in the series. You can tell that I've been forever scarred, can't you? As if that wasn't enough to send me to therapy, she also fell asleep in the midst of reading, on many occasions. She'd sit her chair in the hallway, between my brother's room and mine, start reading and promptly fall asleep. But here I am and I can walk and chew gum at the same time. It's a miracle!

I have no idea how many times I've read one or more of the series to others. I think I read a few of them to the kids on the bus. Yeah, a teacher I was born to be. We had a 2 hour bus ride for several of our elementary and middle school years. Reading to my brother and a few of the other younger kids was my way of trying to keep them out of trouble during the long ride. It's also where I had my first kiss; we were oh, about 1st and 4th grade, me being the older, more mature of the two of us. But golly, where is this going? Anyway, just recently I ran into one of those kids who said something like, "Don't you remember me? You used to read to me on the bus!" And my old bus driver still brings it up every time I visit my parents' church. He comes running down the aisle to give me a big hug and tells everyone around us that he was my bus driver and that I was so helpful as I read to the little kids. Does wonders for my ego.

I also read one of the books to my first graders. But then I was told by a teacher in one of the older grades that I was messing up their system. She read the same book to her class so I most certainly was not allowed to read it to mine. Ooooookaaaayyyy.

So I have made a point to read this series to each of my children. And now it's the little girls' turn. It's so much fun to curl up on their bed together at night and share my love for Laura, a girl who does all these things that make me so glad I'm not a pioneer. We laugh at the stories of Laura and Nellie, mourn for the loss of crops and income, and imagine ourselves there as Pa plays his fiddle.

But there's one chapter that should be removed from the series entirely. It's right there in book 5, By The Shores of Silver Lake, page 8, chapter 2, All Grown Up. I know it's coming. Every time. But every time I hope that it has somehow been deleted. There are covers missing from my beloved childhood copies, why can't this chapter fall out and disappear? But then I turn the page and there it is. So I tell myself it will be fine; I know what's going to happen. It will be all right. This time, I'll hold it to - . . .

But by the middle of the first sentence on page 8 at the beginning of chapter 2, I'm bawling like I've just lost my best friend. Because of course I have, or will be, as Jack, their precious bulldog companion, dies on the bottom of page 12. Every time. No matter how many times I will him to get in that wagon and go west with Pa, he insists on circling three times, lying down on that blanket, and while the rest of the house sleeps, ceases to take another breath.

Admit it, you're crying now, too, aren't you?