Adoption loss

To those on the outside looking in, adoption tends to be romanticized. Parents who adopt are told, "They're so lucky to have you." They're given a pat on the back.

Sometimes, even those who have adopted have this mindset. They give themselves a pat on the back.

And very often, adopted children romanticize what life would be like if only...

But adoption always begins with a loss. Always. None of these children have asked to be placed in a second (or third or fourth or...) home. None of them chose a new set of parents. It was chosen for them. Sometimes before they were old enough to understand what was happening. Sometimes, they understood too well that life was out of their control.

We need to be careful to always remember that while there are some children like one of our daughters who recently told me, "I love being adopted! I get to know my first family but I also have you," and "It gives me something to talk about with people."

But even those we call Disney World Adoptions start with a loss. Always.

As adoptive families, we need to remember that we walk a fine line between celebrating our children and our families and how God brought us together, while also acknowledging that this was not God's initial plan. Before sin entered the world, families were to stay intact. No one would chose drugs, alcohol, or another person over a child. No one would die. Children would be with their parents forever.

So we do celebrate today but we also remember that before us, there was another mother. There is another father.  There are more siblings. There was another country. Another culture. Another language. Another village. We don't try to replace those who came before us. We can only promise to be here for as long as we are on this earth. To love and to cherish, no matter what, for as long as we all shall live.

A new quilt with patches from our family's jeans,

and patches from Kenyan cloth.

Adoption Day

As the Good Doctor told the judge today, on this date 30 years ago, I asked him to a Sadie Hawkins dance.

Obviously he said yes.

Look where that led...

Because today, on World Adoption Day, in National Adoption Month, we officially added the 8th child to our family (those of you who count 9 are correct but we have one more adoption to finalize - hopefully in 2018, although we've been saying that for a few years now).

The day actually started in the wee hours of the morning when I had a dream that awakened me. In my dream I was in labor - contractions, walking the hallways, the whole ordeal. The Good Doctor asked me later if it hurt and I realized we never made it to delivery. I did notice that in my dream there were a lot of people from church sitting around in the lobbies and hallways (it was a spacious and charming hospital). I don't know if dreams have meaning or not and I'm not an interpreter of dreams but this one seemed fitting since there would be another King child by the end of the day and we do have an amazing church family that supports her and us, some of whom came today and many of which will celebrate with us in a few weeks. And yes, there are many parts of adoption that feel like labor pains.

Judges sometimes have a bad reputation, and I don't believe that courthouses are the place where children should find their forever families, but I have to say that Dauphin County has the best judges. When HopeAnne was adopted in 2008, it was Judge Hoover who blessed us with his faith, compassion, and smile. This time it was Judge Cherry who made us laugh as he encouraged each member of the family for the role they play and for who they are.

Mary was blessed by many caseworkers who came to love her on this day. No one should have as many caseworkers as Mary has had during her time in care but everyone should have some of these caseworkers - individuals who care about the children and their well-being. To these women we offer our gratitude.

Mark Silliker, our attorney, has been with us through Hope's adoption, now Mary's, and he's working on the next one as well. What a great office of people who believe in adoption and the power of family.

But Mary, you were the star of today. This day was about you. About giving you what you have always deserved and the loss of which was never your fault - a family. Thank you for trusting us and for your willingness to call all of us your family. It doesn't change the past, it doesn't attempt to wipe it out, but it grafts us all into your story, a story of loss and love and heartache and joy.

We didn't give you the gift of life,

You gave us the gift of you.

We love you and are thrilled to officially call you our daughter. Welcome to the King Zoo!

It gets messy

Sometimes calling is messy

Ugly

Hard

Exhausting

Consuming

Chaos.

But that’s how God found me.

I’ve come through the same messy

Ugly

Hard

Exhausting

Consuming

Chaos.

And He didn’t give up on me.

He made me new.

He is making me new.

I can do no less.

I choose to get up and face the mess

The ugly

The hard

The exhausting

Consuming

Chaos.

I choose to allow this to happen in front of my children

Because

Each one of us needs to see the messy and ugly.

We need to do the hard and exhausting and consuming.

We need to learn to trust God with the chaos.

Because

Order comes to the messy

Beauty comes from the ugly

One more breath comes in the hard and exhausting and consuming

And life

Slowly but surely

Comes from the chaos.

A messy, ugly, hard, exhausting, consuming, chaotic world

Needs me.

Needs you.

It matters to this one.

And one day, we will all be beautiful.

And know we are beautiful.

We will shine with beauty

As we fully know the One who is Beauty

Who created Beauty 

And draws us, beautifully, to Himself.

Reflecting on Gungor's Beautiful Things this morning. 

Thank you for walking with us.

Water walking

These were our words 1 year ago today which have now been viewed 2, 915 times.

Dear Friends and Family,

We are writing this note to let you know that we said yes!  As you know, we’ve been in the midst of our third adoption journey.  It was January 2012 when we both felt God’s call to pursue another adoption.  By July we had started talking with an adoption consultant and found a local home study agency.  We were home study ready at the end of Nov. and the first weekend of Dec. we prayed over and sent out our first round of applications to agencies.

Almost immediately possible situations started coming.  It was heartbreaking to choose which birth mothers we wanted to be presented to, to turn some down, to say yes to others, only to find that we had not been chosen.  It was a definite emotional roller coaster, not for the faint of heart.

A little over a month ago, while we were in the midst of Mark Batterson’s 40 Day Prayer Challenge, Eden came to me and said that she felt like we were to pray more specifically for a baby.  She decided to choose a date and to ask God to either give us a child or a match by that date.  April 20^thwas chosen and a few days later she told me that she had added 5PM to her prayers.  So, as I physically circled the block praying for birth mothers and our future child, she would join me, sometimes simply repeating, “Baby.  April 20.  5PM.”  I had a feeling God was going to honor the prayers of that child.

We waited expectantly for Saturday, April 20.  That day we had a concert in the afternoon and arrived home at 4:00.  I immediately checked my inbox and found three potential situations from an agency in Utah.  Two were more typical scenarios with expectant mothers due in a month or two.  The third situation was a baby boy who had been born April 13 at 25 weeks gestation, nicknamed The Little Fighter by the nurses.  Noah, as his birth mother had named him, had been matched with a family, but when he arrived early, the family changed their minds.  His birth mother was waiting in Utah, feeling hopeless for a family for this little boy.  We presented our profiles to the other two situations but we just couldn’t close the door on the third.  We continued to receive updates.  We asked questions.  We prayed.  Oh, how we prayed.  Several of our prayer warrior friends stormed Heaven’s gates with us, asking for clarity and direction.  And the answers came, one after the other.

But it wasn’t without battle.  The spiritual attack has been so strong, particularly to me (Cindy), physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  When we could no longer lift our hands in the battle, our friends surrounded us, holding us up as Aaron and Hur lifted Moses’ hands.  We can’t thank them enough.  In the same day, two friends had the same idea, sending messages that said, “Noah must be a world changer.  The fight to get him to you has been a big one!” and “He will amaze and God will use him in significant ways.”  Redeeming a life never comes without battle and pain. Jesus suffered for me, I am willing to do the same for this little fighter.

Noah’s fight is far from over.  Starting life at 1 lb. 13 oz., he’s currently around 1 lb. 10 oz. but tolerating small amounts of food and receiving some oxygen support.  We’ve spoken to one of his NICU nurses who gave us every possible life-threatening situation common to premature infants. We’ve never walked this path before but we know those who have.  We know the risk is great.  We know that his future health is not secure.  We know that we could come home with empty arms.  But after a week of wrestling, we can’t say no.

We know this is crazy.  We know that it makes no earthly sense. Like Noah building a boat on dry land, like David offering to slay a giant, like Peter stepping out onto the water, we're trusting the hand that's leading us onto the red carpet with a tiny, barely 2 pound baby boy on the other end.. Through the years we’ve been learning to put action to our faith and this is just another step of obedience, albeit a large step... 

(read the whole post here) 

The past 365 days have taught us a lot more about stepping out of the boat. It's not easy. Some people won't understand. You can't take your eyes off Christ. One year later, I need to reread these words to remind myself of this truth.

It is our prayer that Victor's story has encouraged you to have a radical faith that's willing to take a radical step out of the boat. You won't sink if your eyes remain on the Author and Perfecter of your faith.

On this anniversary I want to thank all of you who have prayed for us and for Victor, all of you who helped out while I was gone, and all of you who continue to support our family.  It's been quite some time since I've given a prayer update so here it is:

Praise God for Victor's good health! His suppressed immune system not only survived its first winter but thrived. He had only a few minor colds, fewer than any of his siblings' first winters!  Go figure. His height and weight have caught up nicely and his reflux is much less severe.

Pray for the final funds to pay off our adoption debt. We are so close! You'll know when this is paid in full as we are planning a big King's Strings concert, inviting anyone who has been a part of this journey.

Pray that Victor's body would learn when it is full and would shut down on its own. For now, I regulate the amount he eats, finding that perfect balance between eating himself sick and being hungry. We did have a dietician visit the home and according to her calculations, my portions were within 20 calories of where they should be. She was pleased and said I shouldn't change a thing. Until the next growth spurt.  :)

Pray for Victor's physical development. It's difficult to determine if his physical lags are due to his prematurity or his blindness. He is sitting on his own, rolling all over the floor, getting himself on all fours, and managing to scoot backward. We're praying that he crawls forward soon!

Pray for sensory issues. He is very resistant to touching certain things. This has probably been the most difficult aspect of his condition for me to accept. Please pray that he continues to mature in this area. As I spent some time in prayer over this yesterday, it was my sense that by his next birthday these issues will have passed. That's a long time to wait and it will be miraculous if it happens. Please join me in this prayer.

Victor's MRI of his optic nerves and pituitary will be on May 21. Please pray that the doctors are amazed by what they find.

And finally, pray for complete healing of Victor's blindness. Amen. So be it.

Staying in contact

One of the blessings of adoption is the addition of the child's birth family to your family. It is humbling to share the role of mommy with a child. There is this other woman out there who did what she could, within her emotional, physical, and financial means, to prenatally care for the child who now calls you, Mommy. I can only imagine, but never fully comprehend, what she goes through when making an adoption decision or when saying good-bye to her child.

Our arrangement with Victor's birth mother was that we would send letters and pictures monthly during his first year of life and then every three months thereafter. These letters go to the adoption agency who then sends them on to *Tracy. While still in the NICU we suggested to the social workers that it would be nice to update her daily if we could and that we'd love to establish a blog just for her. They agreed to ask Tracy this question and she said yes.

We are so thankful that she did. Last Wednesday I put March's letter in the mailbox. When I went back to the box later that day, I found February's letter had been returned, Return to Sender, Unclaimed, Unable to Forward. I was confused. I googled the agency and found that they had been shut down by the state in February. While this wasn't a shock as we had many concerns in our interactions with them, I was shocked to find out in this manner. I immediately sent Tracy a note through our blog, explained the situation, and asked her if she felt comfortable giving us her address. A few days later she responded and did give me her address. I was filled with relief knowing that this tie to Victor's birth family has not been severed.

How sad, though, for the many families who did not have such an arrangement. How many birth mothers are waiting for pictures of their children, not knowing what happened with the agency, and possibly thinking they have been abandoned by the adoptive family. And for Tracy, who has placed other children through this agency, she's left to wonder if she'll ever be able to regain contact and see pictures of the children she loves. Without last names, how are they ever going to find each other?

Thank you, Jesus, that we live in a time when open adoption is an option for birth families that want to stay in contact. Thank you for nudging us to set up a blog as means of connection with Tracy. Thank you, too, that we can continue to speak love and encouragement into her life. I pray that she knows she is loved and valued and pray that you, Jesus, would heal the areas of her life where she is hurting. I pray for miraculous intervention so that she can stay connected to her other children as well. Amen.

*Name changed to honor her

It started with a baby

Note:  This is a blatant plug.  And I am not ashamed.

This is Eden.

This is Eden with her new book, It Started with a Baby by Eden King (of course).

This is a page in Eden's new book about her little brother.

This is another.

This is Eden and Linus, looking to see who will be next in line for an autographed copy of Eden's new book. Actually, it was a photo fail because all Linus wanted was the apple that HopeAnne was eating in the corner while we took the picture.  Let nothing go to waste, they say, not even a digital photo.

But seriously, who could resist such a wonderful paperback picture book? Just $20, autographed for free, and for every book bought, a portion is donated to the Victor Adoption Fund (you knew that was coming, didn't you?). A Valentine's gift? Thinking ahead to your Easter baskets?

In Eden's own words (from the Author's Page):
"I wrote this story so that younger and older people could know the power of prayer."

Come on, you know you want one...

Blessings in all sizes

Some blessings come in a small bag full of coins, a little girl's desire to donate the contents of her piggy bank to Victor's adoption fund.

Some blessings come from a friend at the door with a thoughtful note and a check, putting a large dent in Victor's adoption expenses.  A blessing from a family that understands diagnosis and the changing of dreams for your child.

Big or small and all the ones in between, I thank God for the blessings and how He remembers me, little old insignificant me. Every need is satisfied.  Every blessing a miracle of love.

What I learned in 2013

This morning during church we listened to 9 people share what they have gone through in 2013 and what they have learned from it.  Well, actually I didn't get to listen to all 9 testimonies because Mr. Victor was being noisy, happy, but noisy.  Thankfully, two very dear people rushed to the lobby when they realized Eden was going to be speaking and offered to watch the loud baby so I could hear her speak.  After that I tried to listen on the lobby TV but the sound wasn't the greatest.  I was definitely blessed by what I heard so I'm certain that anyone who heard all 9 was especially blessed and challenged.

See Eden's testimony here.

I'm proud of you, Eden.  I don't think I had stage presence like that until I was in my 30s!

Finalization celebration, part 7

I learned something new today; my Facebox inbox has an "other" box. Who knew? Unfortunately for the people who thought they were contacting me in the past few years, I'm a little slow. My apologies. The good news is, I replied to each and every one. The bad news is, my replies were a little late.

One of those "other" messages was a letter for us about Victor and his adoption. This is from a family that is still grieving the loss of their precious son and brother. Thank you for your words. And to the many who are still sending us your reflections, thank you. I have not published all of them on this blog but we are keeping them for Victor. How special each and every one is to us.

"It's been in the back of my mind since you first requested to hear how Victor has touched the lives of the community. It's incredibly hard for me to put it into words. While you were in Utah, I followed each blog post and excitedly waited for more to come, hoping and praying for good news. I have some understanding of what it feels like to see the struggles one little man can endure. Our oldest son ... had his own hurdles to cross and unfortunately, it never seemed like he did that. For 3 and a half years, we had a newborn. His room was filled with special equipment needed to survive each day. He ate liquids through a tube (and we tried 3 different kinds!) but loved any purees we would spoon feed him. He needed his temperature and heart rate monitored, and sometimes went for a few days at a time hooked up to oxygen. And with all of the specialists he saw and 6 therapists coming into our home, we never had any idea how long his life would be but expected him to grow old with us. With his birthday tomorrow, he has been on my mind almost constantly. When I think about Victor in contrast, I am hopeful for a long, blessed life for him. It fills me with joy to see how he has changed and grown since you first saw him and shared him with all of us! I am thankful for Victor, the smallest, cutest, most loved super hero I know. Thank you Kings, for your open hearts, for your love and sleepless nights and for putting the story into words for us! And Mr. Victor-ious, I'm sure that if we meet someday, you're going to be in for one giant hug, with tears of joy on the side."

Start the bidding!

It's that time again!  Last year around Thanksgiving we ran an online auction through 32auctions to raise money for our next adoption.  He's home but we're still raising money so now through Monday evening at 8PM EST you can bid!  Please share this link with your friends, email and Facebook and whatever.  Still celebrating Thanksgiving with your family?  Share the link, browse together.  Bid for Victor!

We have almost 100 new and used items: Christmas decorations, new hardback autographed books, doilies, pillows, antiques, etc.

32auctions.com/victorious

Shop for a cause

The King family does not like to talk about debt.  Nor do we like to be in debt.  Other than those pesky house payments, we've been able to avoid both the talk and the action.  Oh, there was that one time we bought a brand new vehicle.  But other than that... We didn't plan for there to be so many expenses surrounding Victor's adoption.  Prior to his case, we had avoided situations with such high expenses.  It makes no sense that Victor's bills were as high as a healthy white newborn when he was neither.  But regardless, he needed a home and God said ours was the one.  So, even though we don't like to think about it or talk about it, we're steadily moving on.

Last November we had an online auction the weekend after Thanksgiving.  It went amazingly well and afterward people kept asking for another one.  Some were folks who said they wanted the excuse to clean out basements and attics to donate items to the auction.  Others were ready to Christmas shop for a cause again.  So, we've listened.  We have already started to collect a number of items but my bedroom isn't full of goods yet so we'd love more.

Friends, relatives, blog acquaintances, we'd love your new or gently used items.  Homemade goods, gift cards, those gifts you've never used?  Toys you wanted to sell or get rid of but never found the time to do so?  We'd love to have them to put on our auction.

Auction will be up and running the weekend after Thanksgiving so skip the crowds and check out our listings first.  Or come home from shopping, prop your feet up, get on your computer and shop for a cause.

Thank you.

Finalization celebration, part 6

As I continue to read these wonderful letters, I'm reminded that this isn't about the King family, it isn't even about Victor, but about a God who writes each of our stories for us.  We have been given the awesome privilege of performing that unique role for however long God has given us on this earth. And as we live out that role we will effect people for the better and ultimately the glory all goes back to the One who wrote the story.  Wow!

"I am so excited that Victor is now officially part of the King family! I was praying for the special child that God would place in your family months before you received the April 20^th phone call. My prayers were that God would give you peace and patience in the waiting process, and that He would place the child that was perfect for your family. I was overjoyed when we received the Facebook message about Victor and excited to help your family in any way possible. God blessed us with an evening with 3 of your little ones who were actually more of a help with my two little ones.  We were also able to drive Mariana to play practice, and enjoy some bonding time with Mariana and our girls. God also supplied us with a week of no daycare costs that we were able to use to bless your family financially. God works in awesome ways because leading up to that week there was A LOT of stress in our family over daycare issues, and the decision to leave our prior daycare actually led to us helping your family in your adoption process.

That leads me to how God has used Cindy and Victory to bless me during this adoption/micro-premie experience. Prior to knowing about Victor, I had met with Cindy, prayed with Cindy and emailed Cindy about anxiety issues that I was dealing with. There were days that were the darkest that I’ve experienced in my life, but Cindy gave me new perspective on God and having faith in Him. It was nice hearing her talk about faith, but in the weeks and months to come I saw Cindy having that faith in God through trusting that He would heal Victor. I spent many of my lunch breaks on walks praying for Victor’s healing, for Cindy’s time away from her family and the Kings who were home in PA. This helped me get out of my funk of worrying about the petty things in my life and focusing on God’s faithfulness to us. I’ve been able to get over my anxiety without the use of medication…PRAISE GOD!!

God also used Victor’s story as a way for us to show [our daughter] that God does answer prayers. We would pray for Victor during our nightly prayers and then report back to [her] on how Victor was growing. She got to see firsthand that God really does answer prayers! I can’t explain to you the excitement she had the first time she got to see “chubby” baby Victor in person after seeing his first pictures. [She] now has faith that God will heal people if she prays for them. A few months back, her great-grandfather “Grampy” was in the hospital due to a broken hip from a fall, and my child was faithful and prayed nightly for him….He is now healed and walking again, and able to live in assisted living with his wife. WOW! What an amazing God we have.

Thank you so much for sharing your story from Eden’s faithfulness in praying to Cindy’s trust in God during the dark days in Victor’s healing to God’s healing and Victor thriving through his premature birth.  We know that we must continue to pray for Victor, and that this is just the beginning of his story, but we are so excited by his life so far!  Your family has become like a second family to us over the years, and we are excited to continue on this journey of parenting and living out God’s story in community."

"Dear Victor Noah,

Your story has been an inspiration to so many people, including me. I remember being so excited to hear that your family was adopting again all because of the power of prayer.  This family is inspiration; this family alone has changed my life.  And then there's you. :)

I remember so many things about the early weeks that the King family first knew about you.  There were so many emotions as your mom and dad set off to Utah to meet you for the very first time, leaving behind your crazy siblings.  Those first pictures of you-as tiny as a one dollar bill - were astonishing. I could not even imagine a baby that small. Even still, I look at the dollar bill and I think of how far you have come.

Your life has been an answered prayer of so many. It has been an answered prayer for your family as they finally found the child they were destined to adopt. This is fulfilling the destiny of the One who made you. Your journey in Utah in the NICU was a prayer in itself as we here at home saw your slow and steady progress, your setbacks, and your triumphs. We prayed hard for you to finally come home and overcome all of the obstacles the doctors were anticipating. Victor Noah, you shocked medical professionals and the only explanation is prayer. Your life is so undoubtedly full of the love and the protection of God. His hand is upon you and I can see that. You changed lives and you will continue to as you continue to grow into the life that the Lord has planned for you.

Your life, even though you are only six months old, has clearly changed mine. It has given me a new perspective on the power of prayer. I have seen the power of prayer at work in your journey and it is awe-inspiring. My prayers for your lungs to develop, your eyes to continue to heal, and your bradies to end have continued to be answered. It has changed my prayer life.

When I had the privilege to hold you for the very first time, it felt like I was holding a prayer and holding a miracle. It was so powerful.

You are so loved by so many. May God continue to bless you and your family as you look to the future and what God has in store for such an amazing family with such an amazing calling. I pray for you daily and will continue to.

Blessings on your life Victor Noah - Victorious Long Life."

"Dear Victorious Victor,

How has your little life changed me? Let me count the ways. First of all, you have taught me that I do not need to be overwhelmed by what appears to be insurmountable odds. As many prayers were prayed over you, you continued to amaze all who were praying for you by making each and every hurdle. My faith was strengthened by one so tiny and vulnerable. Many times in life I have felt my faith has been small and doubt would enter the picture, but with you little man, I felt such assurance that you would come through. With such a volume of prayer from so many, we saw God answer one prayer after the other.

When I read the story of your adoption, it was like watching a miracle unfold. You are so blessed to have been given to the King family and their lives have been so enriched by you. I konw my life will be forever changed by the blessing of praying for you and your family and the opportunity to follow your miraculous journey.

I am praying for yet another miracle for you in the healing of your eyesigh. As God prepares you for great things in life He knows how this prayer will be answered and we will continue to believe.

Victor, I have shared your story with people will will probably never meet you. As I think about your life and your future,  am convinced that you will be a great man in God's army. If you can touch so many lives in six months, what will God be able to do with you in the years ahead?

God bless you and your wonderful family. We are so fortunate to have all of you as part of our McBIC community."

Finalization celebration, part 5

And an update on Mr. Victor's eyes.  Another torture session this morning with the pediatric ophthalmologist.  John is very proudly wearing the honor of his "best at holding down a patient" award and Victor is just as proud of his "worst patient" status.  These awards, given by the doctor, also came with the good news that Victor's retinopathy of prematurity has completely regressed which is what we wanted to hear.  This is the direction it had been going, but very slowly, and while it wasn't really a concern any longer, especially in light of Victor's blindness from another condition, it did mean frequent visits just to keep tabs on it and to make certain it didn't take a sudden dive in the wrong direction.  But no longer!  He is scheduled for another visit in 3 months at which time an MRI will be scheduled so the doctor can get a better look at the condition of Victor's optic nerves, the reason for his diagnosis, and completely unrelated to ROP or his prematurity.

And more letters from friends:

"Dear Victor,

Our family is so thankful that God chose our community to love and support you and your family. You have been a blessing to us for more than a year. Before we knew that the child we were praying for was you, our whole community prayed with your family that God would place His perfect choice into the King home. We prayed through long periods of waiting for news, and the joys and sorrows of God's perfect match and perfect timing. When we heard about you we all knew that God had moved and that you would be a part of our community for life. You have a large family in your home and a large community of people who love you and have been praying for you since before you were born."

"Victor,

God spoke at just the right time and put things into motion for you to be connected to your forever family.  The King family was given to you as a safe haven and loving home to grow up in.  You were also given to them as a beautiful gift.  The surprise is in how much your life has been a gift to so, so many others!  As we saw you grow from smaller then a dollar bill size to a full-grown baby, we were all amazed and gave thanks and praise to the God of the universe who knows and loves and sees and moves mountains.  He used His power to bring healing and strength to your little body.  You amazed us all as you grew and overcame many obstacles.  Our belief in the God who can do miracles was strengthened as we saw Him work miracles in your life.   We gave of ourselves by praying for you, but we were the ones who received as we sat in awe of the One who answered those prayers in ways that were beyond what we had asked for, or expected.  Your life has begun as a testimony to all that God can do.  Be blessed as God continues to use you mightily.  We see God’s hand in your life and trust that there is so much more to come as you grow.  You are a victor in Christ."

*Sweet Victor,                                                               

We were told your name was Noah. A biblical name so that fit the King family. Noah was an overcomer and a great believer in God.  He listened.  He prayed. He waited… a long time.  He persevered. He acted.  He saved his family.  He sacrificed. Story sound familiar?  This is you, Victor Noah King, and your family.  Your family prayed for you before they knew you.  A family that listened, that waited, that persevered, that acted.  A family that sacrificed time (mom away from the home nest) and money.  And you, a child who rose Victor(ious), overcame being the size of a dollar bill.

We have prayed for your family, we have prayed for you, we have cried and we have shouted for joy.  What a family you have to call your own.  They are an amazing example of God’s love; Jesus with skin on.  A real life illustration of listening and acting, no matter how it looks to others, and how unrealistic it may seem.  We have been honored to be included in their journey that is you.  What a joy and answer to prayer your life is.  You are God’s plan - yesterday, today, tomorrow, and for many more years.  We are so looking forward to those many more years to see what God has in store for you and how He will continue working through your life to be glorified.

You are special and God loves you very much."

Finalization celebration, part 4

They just keep coming.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  We are loving these letters to Victor and to us.  Many tears being shed over here.

"My beautiful baby cousin,

I remember when I found out that you’re parents were considering adopting again. I remember praying from the time I was in Pennsylvania until the time we all found out about you and even to this day. You are a beautiful, miraculous baby. I can’t wait to see you continue to grow.

I remember sitting in the student union at my college, reading Aunt Cindy’s blog post about my new baby cousin who was struggling for his life. I remember sending the link to every one of my prayer warriors to pray for this beautiful child. I remember praying for you to be a part of “team fat baby” (which is what one of the girls in my discipleship group prayed for him). I remember tearing up when I would look back through Aunt Cindy’s blog and see how much you’ve grown since the start of this journey and to see the unconditional love that your brothers and sisters have for you.

This journey taught me a lot, and writing all about everything it taught me would take quite a long time. But the one thing it taught me was how to trust Christ through every circumstance. You would think that I would already know that; but to watch our family give up time with each other, money, and other things to make sure you had a family forever and to know how much value you have, not only to our family, but also the value that you have in Christ. In my time with them, I saw the heart that our family has to genuinely care for the least of these and to take what James 1:27 (“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”) says to heart. They didn’t care how much money it would cost. They didn’t care how much time it would take you to be strong enough to make the trek from Utah to Pennsylvania. They knew that God was calling them to love you, without condition, and to bring you into a family that is overflowing in love.

I got a care package from you all a few weeks ago, filled with wonderful things that represent people that I miss most and products that I can only find in eastern Pennsylvania. Aunt Cindy wrote me a note telling me to let God shake up my life a bit. Through this process, I’ve seen how God is a God of constant provision. From a baby boy who beat the odds and to a family that has chosen to love unconditionally—whatever that may look like—have shown so many people how God provides time and time again for us.

I love you so much, Victor. I can’t wait to see how you will continue to impact those around you, as you have already done.

Uncle John, Aunt Cindy, and the rest of the “King Zoo”- thank you for showing me how to trust God without hesitation. Thank you for showing me how to love the least of these. Thank you for showing me how to love from the overflow of the love that Christ has for us. Thank you for challenging me to let God shake up my life. Thank you for showing me, multiple times, the beauty that comes from adoption. It holds a special place in my heart due to the beautiful children that are now within our family. I love them. I love you. Thank you for matching your words and your deeds."

"You guys asked for thoughts on Victor. Here are mine.  I probably should have said this a while ago.

When the King family came into my life, I was blessed in ways I didn't fully realize at the time.  Everyone in the family has been wonderful to me, and my interactions with John, Cindy, Andrew, Mariana, Eden, and HopeAnne have been some of the most meaningful and memorable of my last year.  The funny thing is, Victor has also had a major impact on me, though I've only actually seen him in person once.  2013 has been a year of major turmoil in my life.  I won't go into details on why, but this year has been a period of very little to no hope.  I rarely smiled, and often felt more like a zombie than my usual self.  It was, in short, an icky feeling, to use the technical term.  But during that time, I was also following a miraculous story; the tale of Victor and the Kings.  I saw the miraculous answer to prayer that Eden received.  I saw the community come together to help John and Cindy live a life in Utah while living a very full life in PA.  I got to help in a very minor way, and being a part of it meant the world to me.  And I got to see pictures of Victor, smaller than my smallest chihuahua, but growing, learning, and touching the lives of this incredible family.  I got to see his growth and his fighting spirit.  I got to see Mariana take on the role of mom and thrive, where most teens would want more attention and less work.  I got to see pictures of John and Andrew without shirts on...proving that even the best experiences have their negative aspects!   I got to eat pregnant cookies and do it for a good cause!  But more than anything, I got to see a family, community, and little child that was half a country away help me discover hope again.  And it was at a time when I really really needed that.  Eden says that her favorite Bible verse is Matthew 5:14-16, which talks about being a light in the world.  The whole King family is amazingly talented in this area.  And that's what Victor and his story were for me, too.  That's how you know he's a real King.  Before saying a word, he was already being a light in my world.  I thank God for the blessing of the King family, all of them, including Victor.  Because even if he's not officially a part of the family until today, he's been a King since he was born."

"Beautiful Little Conqueror,

A few months before you were born, long before any of us even knew about your precious life, God was orchestrating mine so that I could be a part of your adoption journey. Summer was approaching and that meant I would be going from full time employment to part time. While I knew that I could survive the summer on my part time salary, I began picking up applications seeking a part time job. As I started to fill them out I heard the Lord say, "Not yet." Hmm… Okay. About a month or so later I picked the applications up again and again I heard "Not yet." At this point I'm starting to get frustrated. "Why not!"

A couple days later your Dad signed an email asking me to pray because he believed your family was going to be matched with a baby in Utah, born at 25 weeks. Oh what joy filled my heart! I immediately began praying, not knowing much but knowing that 25 weeks is too early to enter our world.

Days later I read a blog post I'll never forget. "We stepped out of the boat." It took me longer than I'd like to admit to read that post, only because tears were pouring out and I couldn't see the screen to read it. This is the child your family has been praying for. This is the child that I have been praying for. I was so happy to see your beautiful family grow. As someone who wants to adopt someday, I was so inspired that your Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters were saying yes to such a precious life, knowing that it was going to bring much joy to their lives and also much heartache for a time. Through the tears my heart began crying out to God. "Oh Lord… This baby, your child, who is so dearly loved by you, more than what I could ever imagine, is also so dearly loved by many of us who have not even met him. Bring life." More tears began to flow as I began to thinking about your family having to live in separate states for an indefinite time. The Lord ever so gently started to speak to my heart. "This is why. You are to spend your summer serving them."

I remember the beautiful time of prayer the Sunday your Mom and Dad were going to fly out to meet you for the first time. Such love filled that room. This is hope. This is redemption. This is family.

As I continued praying for you, Victor, the word that kept coming to me in prayer was conqueror. Desert Song by Hillsong was constantly running through my mind. "God is my victory and He is here." I found myself constantly lifting your family up in prayer and praying for each member individually, always referring to you as Little Conqueror. My prayer life was growing exponentially.

One Sunday as worship began I saw a picture of you, Little Conqueror, in your bed. There were angels surrounding your bed with their hands upon you and the room was full of angels dancing. I felt the nudge to tell your Dad what I saw before he went up to preach. I very kindly told God no. I was NOT going up there. I let God know that I would tell your Dad after church, I would send him an email or something. As the next song began I clearly heard God saying "Get your butt up there!" So I did. After church that day your Mom posted on Facebook saying that you had a rough night and morning breathing and she was asking people to pray for healing breaths for you. All I could think was that healing breaths were there and I knew that because I had seen them. My heart was so encouraged.

A short time later many members of your family were preparing to head several different directions, including your Dad who was headed to Utah to bring you and your Mom home! I approached your Dad at church and asked if I could pray for him before he left. He let a huge sigh along with an exhausted yes.

Because your family stepped out in faith, it lead to great growth in my prayer life and lead me to start taking smalls, tiny steps as well. I was most certainly not the person who would run up to the front of the church and say "hey guess what God just showed me!" Nor was I the person to approach someone to pray for them. Since that time, I have approached, called, emailed many people to pray for them. I haven't held back from sharing when I've received a nudge from God asking me to share a word or picture with someone.

I'll never forget getting to meet and hold you for the first time. What a beautiful blessing! I couldn't believe that I was holding Little Conqueror in my arms. A beautiful reminder that God does keep his promises. Looking at you I saw hope. Redemption. Family.

When I read the blog post about the diagnosis with your eyes, I wasn't able to read it the whole way through. I was heartbroken. Stepping outside and seeing the beauty around me draws me into a place of worship quicker than anything else. I was crying out to God. "Lord I want that for his life." Jesus said to me, "... I love him and I told you that he is a conqueror. Just you wait and see how he overcomes this." For the rest of that day the song Blessed Assurance was the song on my heart. "Visions of rapture now burst on my sight." May this be so for you, Little Conqueror.

I am so thankful that your family allowed me to walk your adoption journey with them. It's amazing how your tiny life has brought me so much life. I'm looking forward to watching you grow and continue to amaze us, just as our Father said you would.

Love you Little Conqueror!"