Be like Chase's mom

On a trip to the beach this summer, we experienced the true meaning of hospitality, thanks to Chase's mom, and it touched me more than she will ever know. 

I only ever met Chase's mom that one time; the same for Chase. However, I can tell you, based on that encounter, that Chase is going to grow up to be the kind of person who puts others first.

Victor wanted to go on rides at the boardwalk's amusement park. We told him he'd have to wear a mask. He promised he would. Until the mask went on. And immediately went onto his neck. Technically, to him, he was wearing a mask. Technically, to the masses, he was now a leper radiating germs and illness. However, no one said anything so we trekked on. 

We got to one of his favorite rides and he wanted me to ride with him. It was going to be a tight squeeze, but I got in line with him.

That's when Chase's mom approached me. Would my son like to ride with Chase? Chase was seated alone and clearly old enough to ride alone. "I think Chase and my son would fit better than an adult and child." Then, fearing she had offended me, added, "Not that I think you won't fit."

She needn't have worried. I barely heard that last part. What I heard was, "I don't care that your son is obviously blind and carrying a cane. I don't care that he's not wearing his mask properly. I care that he's included."

Chase and Victor did ride together and had a great time. Victor felt like a normal kids who made a new friend. I felt like a mom who was allowed to take her child in public even if he didn't fit in.

In a world of moms teaching their children to fear, ridicule, and spew at those who don't fit in, be like Chase's mom. You could renew someone's hope for humanity. You could help someone retain or regain their own humanity. And you will teach all the Chases of this world to do the same.

Expectation vs. reality

Since we're all back to schooling at home in one form or another, I gave the girls a choice: You can go into school for your school photos or we can go back to the old days of when Mom took your school photos.

The consensus was to go old school.

We threw out some ideas for photo location and landed on a sunflower field. We've never done that before.

We found a morning when we'd all be home. We found a sunflower field. We checked their website that morning: We're sorry. Our fields are currently closed so we have enough sunflowers for our festival this weekend.

Fine, we'll go to the festival. Likely with the whole state but whatever.

We awoke to a rainy, dreary day but the forecast said it'd clear up.

It didn't.

We went anyway. 

Having never been to a sunflower festival before, we had great expectations. 

We expected this:

The reality was this:

See that sunflower on the right? Not really? Yeah, we had the same problem.

But we were determined. Our mission: To find more than one sunflower in the same spot so we could take some photos.

Found!

And then we added another one. Just replanted it from somewhere else. And she held one in her hands. 

The pictures? Meh. The memories? Priceless. We're going to laugh about the sunflower field that wasn't for a very long time.

First job as husband and wife

One more thing...

Growing up, my family was very close to the two women who lived next door. They were sisters, Laura and Florence, except I don't think I knew that they had first names until I was too old to admit that I didn't know that they had first names. We always referred to them as "the neighbor ladies". One had never married and the other was a widow. For many of the years we lived next to them, they were independent but we often helped them with raking leaves, shoveling snow, and other household duties. They were very encouraging of my violin playing even though they had to listen to every practice as soon as the weather got warm; no one had air conditioning. I learned about the game Yahtzee by listening to the dice rattle long into the evening.

To young me, they were always elderly but they couldn't have been that old because we were neighbors for a long time and Florence was still alive when I got married. By this time, she was in a retirement home. We invited her to our wedding and the decision was made that depending on the weather and her health, she would be allowed to come. However, since she was not doing well that day, on oxygen, and the day promised to be high 90s with 90%+ humidity, she was unable to come. 

No problem. We had promised to stop by the nursing home after our reception if she was not able to be at the wedding.

Back in the olden days, throwing rice at the newly married couple was a thing. I think it was supposed to bring good luck. But then they found out that it was killing the birds, apparently the luck was only for humans. So then throwing birdseed at the newly married couple was a thing. Supposedly, it brought good luck just by being associated with the former rice-throwing tradition? I don't know. Not sure I ever had good luck, either, so that might be why. 

Anyhow, people stood in a line and we ran down the middle and they threw birdseed at us. 

Weird. 

Didn't quite have the photographic effect that glow sticks or bubbles do these days, but then I don't think glow sticks had been invented yet and bubbles were something you did with the kids when you babysat. Until someone inevitably knocked the bubble container over and then everyone cried and no one had a good time. With that kind of history, I can't imagine that bubbles bring good luck to the couple, either. But the new traditions probably solved the bird obesity problem.

So there we were, walking down the hallway of the nursing home, me in my wedding dress (back in the olden days we didn't have enough money for a wedding dress and a leaving-the-wedding dress) and John in his tux, headed for Florence. We made quite a stir. We were asked if the clothes were for real (yes) multiple times before we arrived at our destination and as we passed, residents found their way into the hall to be sure that they weren't seeing things. 

I remember Florence being overjoyed at seeing us. No surprise that as we bent down to hug and greet her, birdseed fell out of my flower crown and all over Florence and her bed. She thought it was great fun.

My mom recently told me that every time she visited Florence after that day, this photo of the three of us was on display on her hospital tray.

So, it made sense that if Great Grandmom couldn't come to Mariana's wedding due to covid (funny, that being 99 had absolutely nothing to do with her ability to come), the married couple's first job as husband and wife would be to stop by her house the next day to visit her.

So they got dressed up again and surprised her with a visit. They brought her a centerpiece and some favors as well.

Basically the same dress, 29 years apart, bringing memories to the people we love. It's not the way it was hoped to be, but the memories are just as special.

The reception

The reception had to go through the most changes for a Covid world. The goal was to keep people spread out, outside, as much as possible. An open air barn, food trucks, games and activities spread throughout the property, all helped to accomplish this. 

Shoun and Victor approve

Kona ice for the couple, complete with two straws

Even the food trucks practiced social distancing

Not many people can say they danced in front of a food truck at their wedding

The farm made for beautiful pictures and some fun ones, too, when Snickers showed up.

The story behind the fish: Jake wanted fish in the centerpieces. Mariana did not. I liked the idea. Jake's mom did not. So Mariana won. Two weeks before the wedding, Jake found a moment when Mariana was out of the room to tell us that he was planning to have someone get a fish to put on the sweetheart table to surprise Mariana. At one point Mariana told us that she was planning to put a fish on the table for Jake but since just that morning she had told Eden that she wasn't go to do so, we thought Jake's idea was great. But then a few days before the wedding, Mariana confided that she had asked someone to get a fish to put on the sweetheart table. And they both had asked the same person to help them pull it off! There is a great video going around of Jake motioning to the fish and saying, "I got you a fish," then Mariana motioning to the fish and saying, "I got you a fish," and then they burst out laughing. Joke's on you. And you.

The first dance has a story, too. A few weeks before the wedding, Jake asked me to bring a stool. Part way through the dance, he gave me the look and I presented the stool to Mariana so they could be a little closer in height to finish their first dance as husband and wife. I think it was my brother who was going to present me with a stool on my wedding day, when my grandfather told John that he could kiss the bride, but I found out later that my mom wouldn't let him. I always wished it had been done. Now I feel like I can put that desire down; this was close enough.

Jake's brother gave a toast as best man. Eden said a few words as maid of honor and then HopeAnne joined her for a great mash-up of Broadway songs, rewritten for Mariana. Maggie also spoke since she was the one who first introduced him even though she thought Jake had no chance because he happened to be wearing his Stud Muffin T-shirt that night.

Amazing gluten free, dairy free, soy free wedding cake and cupcakes, made to order for the bride's dietary needs. But what most guests didn't know is that they were eating the exact same thing. Who needs all those extras, anyway?

A s'mores bar!

It's always great to have our family together. Of course, we still mourn the loss of one and pray that some day healing will bring us all together for family celebrations.

Mariana wanted to have a King's Strings reunion at her wedding so a few phone calls with discussions about who would play which parts, and it was all set. Unfortunately, Shoun had to leave early due to a long drive back to college, but Victor filled in on cajon and did an amazing job for his first official concert.

Many remarked that Plan K was even better and more memorable than Plan K. Other than the special people who could not be with us, I don't think we would have wanted it any other way.

Wedding time

Going to the chapel (kind of) 'cause she's gonna get married...

The women have arrived! And can we just take a minute to admire how stunning they all are? The flower crowns, the white dresses (although one bridesmaid did quip that they look like they're all getting married in some freak cult), the explosion of color from the flowers...?

And the bride. A most beautiful, glowing bride. This day is the fruition of much work. You did well, dear.

The ceremony was beautiful with so much symbolism. And thanks to the priests and their words which have been repeated for centuries, the happy couple has  no choice but to be fruitful and multiply. And if you think this doesn't work, may I remind you that my grandfather, who married John and me, prayed that our home would be open and welcoming. Look how that turned out.

*The crowns used in the ceremony symbolize the glory and honor that God bestows upon His faithful people. The white ribbon attaching the crowns symbolizes the marital unity that the bride and groom will enter into in marraiage. The bride and groom are crowned as king and queen of their own household, which they must rule responsibly, with love and wisdom. They also symbolize martyrdom and sacrifice which are also qualities of a good marriage, in imitation of Christ sacrificing Himself for us.

The priest joins the right hands of the bride and groom while saying a prayer asking God to unite them in oneness of mind and heart. The bride and groom keep their hands joined throughout the rest of the service to symbolize their unity as a couple.

The priest leads the bride and groom around the wedding table as an expression of joy and celebration. They hymns during this procession specifically refer to Isaiah prophesying the birth of Christ. They also bring to mind the apostles and the early Christian martyrs who bore witness to Christ and His Gospel by their preaching, teaching, and even the sacrifice of their own lives. Demonstrating their commitment to this way of life, the couple take their first steps as husband and wife united in Christ.

Because of corona (which is why none of these mandated children will be named Cory, Rona, or Ronnie), many had to watch online but we're thankful for the technology available so that Mariana's 99 year old great grandmother, paternal grandmother, and many others could watch online. Some went all out, even hosting their own wedding feast while watching the ceremony.

Pictures.

It's a tradition now.

Thanks Andrew and Sarah, for starting this.

On to the reception.

*Explanation credit: Monica Chilbert and Jacob Kurtz

Ready or not...

Sunday - The day! The day long-awaited. The day that went through numerous revisions. The day that might have been moved up or pushed back.

Jake and Ana went to church.

We kicked the King men out of the house.

Our friends from Spirit Day Spa arrived. The King ladies got in line for hair and make-up.

Ana returned. The bridesmaids arrived.

They got in line for hair and make-up.

Dad arrived. He turned around to see his oldest daughter dressed as a King for the last time.

He wanted to know about the corsages and why they were on our wrists.

One last conversation and advice from Grandma Mary Ann, the one for whom Mariana was named. She and a number of King relatives would be watching online. Along with many other friends and family.

And then, we're off!