Encouraging Victor-isms

Victor and I start the day saying 5 nice things about each other. One morning I got, "Mommy, you are brave. You are encouraging. You are smart. I love how hopeful you are. I love your impeeriosity."

When I ask what impeeriosity means, he tells me to stop asking questions. 
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I was volunteering in Victor's classroom one morning when an aide pulled me aside to share this conversation she had with him:
Aide: Victor, you look so handsome today.
Victor (wearing plaid hoodie, skinny jeans, and jean jacket): I look like a youth pastor 
Aide: Oh! My brother is a youth pastor.
Victor: My dad is an old man pastor.
Aide: So is my dad!
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We were giving each other math problems to solve. I said, "If I have 5 cookies but 7 people want a cookie, how many more cookies do I need?" Without missing a beat he said, "Well, that's easy. You just break the cookies into pieces." No wonder, according to his first quarter report card, he's not only a bad kid but not even close to grade level as well.
P.S. When I suggested that the people wanting cookies would probably want whole cookies, he promptly told me we would need 2 more. Didn't even need to think about it or pull out fingers or toes to count.
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Me: What is your new aide's name?
Victor: Her name is Ms. Cindy. *pause* She stole your name!
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"Lucy (the dog) is a veterinarian. She eats meat."
(This has been an on-going confusion between vegetarians and veterinarians and who eats what. Clearly I'm not getting through.)
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Victor likes when Eden teaches him the German that she is learning in German class. He was shocked, however, to one day hear her talking about English class.

"But you already know English," he told her.
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Victor was mad at Cousin Molly and was acting unkindly so she was ignoring him. Not wanting to be ignored, he started yelling at her, "Do you want to grow up to be an ignorer? Well, do you? Do you want to grow up to be an ignorer?"
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After a really rough day, Victor told me, "The gravity of meanness is really trying to pull me down."
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Victor: I hope all my children when I get married are blind. 
Me: Why?
Victor: Because I'm blind! I wish blindness was a sickness so I could spread it.
Me: Why would you want to spread blindness?
Victor: Because I want to show people what it's like.
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Victor: You can't say that; that's what the cool kids say.
Me: I'm not a cool kid?
Victor: Well, you're not a kid, are you?...But you are kind of fun.
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Victor dictated a text to one of Eden's friends, asking to get together. He ended his text with "Yours truly, Victor". I asked where he had learned that valediction and he said he just thought of it. I said, "Wow, you are such a romantic."

Victor: I think I'm a robotic.
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