Trust and remember

To my children facing the unknown right now. And to those who aren't, this is for when you are. Because those times will come. It's inevitable. It's life. It's okay to grieve that which is not there but you want it to be. It's okay to mourn what is there but you wish it wasn't. It's okay to be angry. Take all of that to God and to the people you trust the most. If they love you, they will let you feel what you need to feel.

But let me tell you how I'm praying for you. Because you can bet that I am praying. But I won't pray that you know the future. I won't pray for an easy path. I won't even pray that all of your prayers are answered. What I've learned (and I'm 50 now so I have earned the right to start a sentence with "What I've learned...") is that we grow the most when we are in those uncertain moments. I haven't always handled them with grace and trust so part of my prayer is that you learn this long before I did. Even now, I can succumb to worry and fear and sleepness nights. Surprisingly, even though our life's journey has brought me more uncertainty than I ever would have wished for, I have more peace and joy than ever before. And when I lose them, I know where to go to get them back. But I didn't learn those lessons in the straight paths and clear futures. You know that; you've seen many of the roadblocks, detours, and train wrecks along the way. I pray that at least some of the time I have modeled trust.

Trust in him at all times, you people;

    pour out your hearts to him,

    for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:8

Trust Him for each and every step. He will likely only light the path to illuminate one step ahead, not the whole path. So trust Him for the rest of the path. Trust that it is good. Trust that when it's too narrow for Him to walk beside you, He's in front or behind or maybe carrying you. But trust.

And remember. Remember has to follow trust. Remember the past. Remember how He brought us here. That transition was one of the hardest experiences that happened to us and I will admit I didn't trust. I didn't believe that there could be a church that didn't chew up and spit out pastors. I didn't trust that I we'd find a home where the Body of Christ didn't turn on you and reject you. I couldn't believe that leaving the things we loved - our home, our extended family, our school - could ever turn out to be good. But I was wrong and Jesus was gentle and slowly showed me that His way is always good. I know we only see part of the story but even with partial vision, I could list the multiple ways that God needed us here, wanted us here, and planned good for us here.

Only be careful that you do not forget...

I think of the year Jesse didn't make it into regional orchestra (or was it state?) after he had given up the school musical to free up the weekend of the festival, thinking he'd be there. He was devastated. My heart hurt for him. But I also had this sneaking suspicion that that story wasn't over. Sure enough, that free weekend meant that he could participate as a leader at the middle school retreat. The retreat speaker happened to lead a ministry. He just happened to need a drummer and someone with the creative, exuberant, fun, Pied-Piper-of-middle-school kids qualities he saw in Jesse that weekend. That led to a summer job for the next several years with amazing people and experiences.

I think of Mariana's devastation when her first college choice didn't work out. Again, I knew that there was something better. We don't know all the whys. We don't have to know all the whys. God is good. So we trust that He is working all for good, to draw us closer to Him, and to bring Him all the glory.

So, kids. I'm praying for you. I'm praying for trust. Because I love you.

Want to know what else I'm praying? Take a moment to watch or listen to Kendall Payne singing Pray. These are my prayers for you. The God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and knows every animal and bird and insect knows you (Psalm 50). He knows the future and He knows what's best. Trust.