Learning God-worship

Going through the motions doesn't please you,

a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship

when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Psalm 51:16-17 (MSG)

So much of my first thirty years or so was just going through the motions, thinking that is what pleased you, God. I paraded my family down to our pew in the front of the church, where my family had always sat. I played the piano and the violin and taught children and worked in the library and so many other things. I made my children obey and smile on Sunday because we were on display. I was seeking that flawless performance that I was never going to be able to give you because I am not perfect.

And then we stepped out of the boat. We picked up and moved to a new land. You asked us to open our home to children who didn't look like us or act like us and in the process you shattered my pride and false humility.

That is when I truly learned to worship you. My heart has been shattered but opened for you and your perfect love. You see me. You care for me. You love me.

You teach me and equip me to go and do likewise.

Thank you.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51:16-17