Together

My location-of-choice for daily devotions has migrated to different parts of the house. Originally I lounged on the sectional sofa in the den. But the den gets mighty cold in winter and so I moved to the living room. But then, being right next to Victor's room, he had this uncanny knack for waking as soon as I walked past his room, no matter how early I tried to awaken. We tried the No-on-talks-to-Mom-til-after-6AM rule which worked wonders with my older, well-behaved children, compliant children. But that didn't work on Victor. Not only would he insist on started the day's 1,000,001 questions, but when I gently reminded him that this was my time and I would not be answering his questions for another hour or so, he'd go off into a full-fledge Victor tantrum which may or may not awaken the whole house. And which was certainly not conducive to hearing from God. But which did allow me to work on learning grace and lavish love in the midst of frustration and feelings of hopelessness (will this, too, truly pass?).

Now that everyone is in real school or has left the nest, I find myself spreading out all over the kitchen table. Bibles, prayer journal, regular journal, and books on Christian living pile up as the morning goes on. Spotify plays with "soaking music" and at times bits and pieces of current or future writing projects are added to or begun.

I have a dream location. It's a beautiful sunroom with a nice, big, comfy chair, and an end table for all of my books and Bibles and journals. Someday. Maybe on this earth but more than likely it's a vision of my Heavenly home. Either way, I look forward to sitting in that chair and basking in His love.

But there's one memory, back when I was still using the den as my spot, that stands out above all the rest. I was working through Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, book and journal. It was slow going. This idea that I was loved, exactly as I was and am, was so new to my heart (I'm sure my head had received this knowledge many times but never made it southward) that I could only take a little at a time. It was here that I learned that Jesus smiles, and that He not only loves me, He is delighted in me.

And that changed everything.

He gave me a new name, Joy. He restored the hurt and the anger and the bitterness. He gave me a mission, Mom to the hurting and broken. He used every moment leading up to that one to bring me right where He wanted me. And He has walked with me every step of the way. Slowly but surely He showed me that not only does He smile, but He laughs. He delights in surprising us with blessing. He lets me sit with Him. We talk. He teaches. He imparts. He listens. Together. It's the only way.

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him,

for He shields him all day long, 

and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.

Deuteronomy 33:12