Offense

"Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. 

Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and 

receiving the satisfaction I so much desire, the result is always the opposite of what I tried to get. 

A complainer is hard to live with, and very few people know how to respond to the complaints 

made by a self-rejecting person. The tragedy is that, often, the complaint, once expressed, 

leads to that which is most feared: further rejection.... Joy and resentment cannot coexist." 

Henri Nouwen, ‪The Return of the Prodigal

A few years ago, the kids and I were studying the life of Joseph. I remember asking the children to think about why Joseph received favor wherever he went - with Potiphar, with the guards in prison, with fellow prisoners, and with Pharaoh. We talked about Joseph's character in spite of suffering and hardship. Clearly, we determined, he could not have allowed life's circumstances to make him bitter and angry. If so, he would not have been the kind of person that others held in such high esteem despite his position as a slave and prisoner. And, I'll admit, at the time, I meant the conversation to be a (hopefully) learning experience for a child or two, a lesson about good attitudes and respectful interactions.

This morning, the lesson was for me. I was reading about Joseph in Genesis and something in chapter 45 jumped out at me: Joseph gave his brothers brand-new clothes, money, food, everything they would need for their trip home, and more. Not only did this man of integrity find favor with everyone he worked under, he was able to lavish gifts on the same men who had been the cause of his suffering all those years.

And the only comment recorded that references their actions toward him years before? "Take it easy on the journey; try to get along with each other." (MSG) Get along with each other? Not, "Make sure you don't kill each other along the way?" or "Hey, don't lie to Dad this time. I'm alive. I wasn't eaten by a wild animal?" or even, "Good luck explaining this one to the man you've been lying to all these years. Hope you can get yourself out of this mess!"

There is no place I have had to work harder on forgiveness than with the most difficult children in my home. And there is no place I have had to work harder at taming my tongue than with these same children. My human nature bends toward offense, bitterness, anger, and revenge. My hardened heart says, "You hurt me and you can't get away with that. I'm going to remind you of this until you repent and change!"

But Jesus steps in and says, "I was hurt, too. In fact, every time a child rejects you, that child is rejecting me more than you. You know who you are, Cindy, and whose you are. Face this child with my love and you'll lead your child to see me as a good, good Father, too."

Joseph is a fruitful bough a fruitful bough by a well (spring or fountain), 

whose branches run over the wall. Skilled archers have bitterly attacked and sorely worried him; 

they have shot at him and persecuted him. But his bow remained strong and steady and rested in the Strength that does not fail him, for the arms of his hands were made strong and active by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob, by the name of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel. 

Genesis 49:24 (AMP)