Victor-isms: School Days

Me: I wish you would ask me before you turn on your movie.
Victor: Well, I asked God and He said, "You can watch Sing! but the thing is, when it's over, you should ask your mom to start it over for you."

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Me: This book has a tiger who talks and wears a costume and pretends to be a train. Do you think this book is real?
Victor: Nooooooo, this book is fictionary.

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Victor: Do I look ugly?
Me: No, Victor, you look handsome.
Victor: Thanks, Mom. You're sweet-ish. (pause) Have you ever had sweet-ish fish?

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Victor (relaying his Bible story about Nehemiah): It was about Mia Maya. The walls of Jerusalem fell down like the theater in Sing.

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Victor: Mom, I'm an animal control worker. You be an animal.
Me (thinking): Okay, I'll be a dog.
Victor: Mom, you be a caterpillar. I'm the animal control worker. I'm coming to get you!

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Isaac: Victor, you're getting heavy. How'd you get to be so heavy?
Victor: I fart a lot.

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Victor was very excited to teach us the Pledge of Allegiance which he has learned in kindergarten:

I pledge the Lord to the flag
Republic
One native over God under God
for justice once and for all