Birthmother's day

In some circles, this day (the day before Mother's Day) is known as Birthmother's Day.

I understand why some wanted to create a day alone for birthmothers but I'm not sure it's a day to be celebrated. No woman ever chooses to be in a situation where she cannot raise her own child. No one grows up looking forward to choosing another family for her child.  No woman chooses to be an "orphan" herself, with no one to encourage or support her as she raises her child.

So while I am all about celebrating the courageous women who labor not only to bring a child into this world but to selflessly labor in choosing what she deems to be the best future for her child, I'm not sure it's a day to be celebrated.

There is always grief involved in foster care and adoption. For all parties. There is always a separation. Often times, there are life-long struggles for the birth family, child, and new family.

To C--, I--, T--, and B--, today is not a day to send you flowers or cards. No, today is a day to tell you that we celebrate you each and every day. We honor you in our home.  We hope that we have not added to your pain but that in some way, we have been able to lead you to the One who can bring you comfort and healing. We hope that you have felt our love and acceptance of you as individuals and as the first mothers to each of our children. We know you were not perfect but neither are we. We ask for grace as we, with God's help, strive to raise your children in a way that would make you proud. We love your children and we love you.