The reluctant grave digger

There comes a time in the life of every pet when he or she passes from this life to the next. When Fido goes to that great dog park in the sky, or Tigger moves on to the never-ending catnip banquet.

Or when little pet rodents find themselves on the wheel that never squeaks and from whence she will never tire.

Unfortunately, the mortician was a little busy (and a lot reluctant) so Licorice the Gerbil found herself lying in wake for 24 hours but that gave us all time to pay our last respects. Except Andrew and Jesse who didn't feel it necessary to come home to be with the grieving. They should send their condolences soon. (Hint, hint)

The grave digger, who was also the mortician, was extremely reluctant to do this job when there was snow on the ground but I reminded him that his father-in-law had to do the very same thing for the very same kind of animal about 36 years ago so if he didn't want to be given a bad standing next to my father, he should get his butt out there and start digging. Faced with the dreaded comparison to one held in such high esteem, he grabbed his shovel and got to work.

He is henceforth to be known as The Reluctant Grave Digger.

Silly string to celebrate a life well lived.






The pastor, who also moonlights as both reluctant grave digger and mortician, gathered the grieving girls, allowing each to share their favorite memories.

"I liked you because you were the color of my hair," said Hope. And then added, "What? I don't know what to say!" It's okay. We'll give her time. The words can come later. In lieu of flowers, snow thrown on the casket.

The reluctant mortician/grave digger/pastor said a prayer for the deceased and then asked the surrogate mother, "What was her name?" Real sympathetic there, pastor. Smooth move.

A moment of silence.

The Reluctant Grave Digger insisted there be photos as he threw on the last shovelfuls of dirt, mumbling something like, "If I have to be out here freezing my butt off, burying a gerbil, then there better be proof!" But maybe I just thought that's what he said.

And he calls himself a pastor??????

In memory of Licorice King
Formerly known as Jo
July ?, 2010 - Feb. 5, 2016

Licorice (Jo) King, 5, of Girls' Room (formerly Spare Oom), died Friday, February 5, at her home. Ms. King was born in Petco. She was employed by Spinning Wheel Enterprises. She was a member of Things That Scare Victor Post 272 and Gnawers of America. Ms. King was preceded in death by her sister, Cutie Pie (formerly known as Mary). She is survived by her surrogate mother, Eden King of Mechanicsburg and a slew of surrogate aunts and uncles.

Funeral services were held privately on Saturday, February 6, 2016, at the place of her residence. Pastor John King officiated, reluctantly.

Memorial Contributions may be made to the King family We-Really-Want-A-Puppy-But-Mom-Says-We-Need-To-Wait-Til-Victor-Gets-A-Seeing-Eye-Dog-In-13-Years Fund.

Online condolences may be left below.