All about hair

Today I have decided to use this forum to once and for all answer a question that I get asked all of the time. Strangers. Friends. Even family. I can always tell when it's Christmas because we see people we only see once a year, and every year, like clockwork, they ask the same question. And every year I give the same answer. And 365 days later, they're asking again. So here's your answer:

Yes, I do HopeAnne's hair.

You have to understand that I have never been able to do a thing with my own hair. I inherited my mother's stick-straight, fine, thin hair. (And her allergies. And her bad eyesight. And... but who's counting?) Anyway, there's nothing you can really do with it except to grow it long and let it hang, and join a group of hippies, the latter of which I have never done. I did spend too much time and money in the 80s, getting perms to try to make it look like I belonged to the decade. But no one was fooled, especially my parents who had to foot the bill for that experiment in futility. So I've found that short is best. No work, no fuss, no trying to defy the odds and get volume out of a wet noodle.

Until recently when The Good Doctor informed me that he prefers my hair longer. So now I spend a lot of money on products to give volume and sticking power, only to get a rat's nest of gluey deposits and hairspray-induced sneezing fits. But I'm not bitter or anything; just stating the facts.

My boys all have thick heads of hair, but they aren't standing in line for me to style it. For the older two, puberty not only changed their voices, but changed the hair on top of their heads and they suddenly had these untamable curls the girls can't resist. (They're going to love me saying that, but you can't deny the truth) The next in line came with the thick, curly hair in place. Son #4 has always had a thick head of hair. We're waiting to see about the curls. Maybe something will happen when he can no longer sing as high as his sister.

Daughter #1 has fine hair, but she, too, has recently received a head full. And she even has some body to it. Beautiful.


But by the time it was full enough to do something with it, she went through her hat phase, and now wouldn't let me touch it with a ten-foot pole. It's okay because she spends enough time in the bathroom to beautify it for weeks at a time, even though for some reason she's back at it in just a few hours. Daughter #2, I think, has my hair. She looks really cute when it's short and sassy. Like her mother. Until somebody told her to grow it long. I digress.

Daughter #3, then, was handed to us with a head of thick, black hair. Interestingly, we were told we were picking up a caucasian baby. Funny, because even though we're not medical experts, we were pretty certain from the moment we first saw her that this baby was not caucasian. Not that it mattered to us, but we really didn't want to be arrested for taking the wrong baby from the NICU. So we just smiled, signed the papers, and left before someone could tell us we had the wrong baby; we were already in love. Thankfully, the case worker later admitted to her mistake so we do know that we were given the correct baby.

While her hair was straight at first, it didn't take long to become a head full of beautiful kinky, curly (which also happens to be a product line, I've come to find out) hair. When she finally had enough hair to do something with, I looked into finding someone to do something with it. Wow! I had no idea. Not quite ready to remortgage the house in order to have the girl looking good, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Isn't Google wonderful?

We now have it down to a science. First we have to choose a style. Sometimes we find one on a real person's head and we follow her around til we know exactly how to replicate it. Other times we find one in a picture book. More often, we peruse the internet. Then, we have movie day. We start the movie while I take the former style out. Then she gets a bath and we wash her hair. Finally, we finish the movie (and maybe even watch another one), while I style her hair. It's great Mommy-Daughter time and other than her screaming during a particularly knotted section, which I'm told has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with the hair, it's quite fun. It just takes a lot of time. But she's worth it.

Now, repeat after me so you don't have to ask again, "Cindy does HopeAnne's hair." Very good.

But I will admit to paying someone else to cornrow the other girls' hair. Vacation will do that to you.