Our alma mater called the other night. I should have known when they asked for Cynthia, that I was going to be hit up for money. But of course they don't identify themselves right away. First they get all chummy, searching for an interest that they can discuss with you.
Poor guy thought he had found it when he said, "Oh, I see your email is we5kings."
"Well, actually that's our old email address."
Not ready to give up that easily, he continued, "That must mean that you have 3 children. That's wonderful."
"Well, actually, as I said. That's an old email address. We have seven children."
Long pause. "Seven? Oh. You must be very busy."
That's what everyone says as soon as they find out how many children we have. They act as if it's some freak of nature or something.
I can never understand when someone suggests that we have a large family. I don't get it. Large is Duggar-ish; not seven-ish. In fact, we're not even half-way there.
But there are times when I do begin to wonder...
Like when the serviceman comes for a house call and looking around my home, asks, "Do you run a daycare?"
Or when I go to the grocery store for the third time in the week, not because I haven't already bought all of my groceries, but because I couldn't possibly fit all of the milk for the week in our refrigerator. I have to make three trips a week, buying 3 gallons each time.
And speaking of the grocery store, the bagger once accused me of buying too much bread when there were no blizzards in the forecast. Until I told him that I had seven children. Then he asked if he should go get me some more.
When the waitress at the restaurant thought we were hosting a birthday party.
Like when the librarian comments on the number of books we have checked out. It is a family card, right?
Or when people pass our van on the highway, pointing inside and laughing.
When we're at a state or national park and it's cheaper to buy the family season pass than day passes for each of us.
The hardest to handle is that our county deems our family too large to continue to do foster care. It seems to me it should be more dependent on the room in your house and the love in your heart; not a number.
But tax time is made a little nicer by our brood. And we could always move to a different state ...
Oh how I celebrate people like you! Providing the childhood so many desperately need! Three cheers for you- no seven - no....???
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration! This line says it all:
ReplyDelete"It seems to me it should be more dependent on the room in your house and the love in your heart; not a number."
I agree Tara that was a perfect line. People are so judgmental, your family looks wonderful!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately our guess is that the guideline is there because of the high profile cases where foster parents only did it for the money, abused the kids, etc. But not everyone is like that, and when the social workers are in your house several times a month, and even make surprise visits, I think they should be able to tell if that is happening. It's sad when every day I hear ads on the radio or see billboards along the road begging for foster parents. We're here! Take us! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat examples and details (the 3 times to the store to get milk each week really stuck out to me). Due to the examples, I could feel the exhaustion that people's comments can create at times. My best friend comes from a family with seven children. It has never occurred to me (knowing them only as adults) how large their family may have appeared when they were younger. 7 is heaven!
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh and memory about your library/book comment. When I was homeschooling my five we would haul books to and from the library in a laundry basket. Until the day I grounded everyone from the library for not taking good enough care of our borrowed loot. Then one day the "small town" librarian called to tell me to "PLEASE come back. Our numbers have gone down and it is affecting how much we receive for book revenue!" (Or something like that!)
ReplyDeleteLook! You've written the introduction to your first book! What a perfect overview of who you are as a family.
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't give up! Persistence. Are you sure that's not your middle name. Never mind, I know your middle name. :)
DeleteI've completely forgotten what I was going to say because missmoyer had such a wonderful idea. She's right, there's a book there.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think about it, my parents came from families of 7 and 8...they are woefully behind with just my brother and I.