Lent this year

For the past several years, this has been an integral part of my Lenten focus. There is something about light in the darkness. We usually associate it with Christmas celebrations but this Advent "wreath"/Lenten "wreath" has helped me to see these 40 days differently.

Lent is not something that I celebrated traditionally. It was introduced to me by leaders in our current church but has also become more meaningful as I've studied it for myself, both cerebrally and soulfully. When all legalism is removed, and Lent is what it is meant to be, a human method of preparing oneself to once again remember Christ's suffering, death, and resurrection while at the same time join Him in His ministry, it becomes an important part of life's rhythm.

This year's Lenten season began with two extra little ones in our home. It began with cursing, throwing, and behaviors which quickly spiraled into much more. I put the wreath out but didn't have the energy to add the candles. And within a day or so, had to put the whole thing away to keep it safe from little hands that knew no other way to deal with anger, pain, and sadness than to lash out at love.

Also during this time I tried to start several different kinds of fasts, trying to give up one thing then another. Each one failed. I didn't have the emotional or physical energy to recognize Lent in the typical ways. I was consumed with anguish from sharing the burdens of this sweet family that had become connected to ours.

The night the little ones returned to their own home, I slept like a rock. I began to recognize the toll the experience had taken. A day or two later I replaced all of the breakable and sentimental items that had been removed for their own safety. I replaced the Lenten wreath and as I attempted to figure out what day of Lent we were on, realized that the chaos that had been in our home left exactly halfway through Lent.

I also realized, as I added the number of candles for the days that had gone by, that I had been participating in Lent all along.  Some faith traditions practice three aspects of Lent: prayer, fasting, and charity. None of these are meant to be legalistic or to win us God's favor and grace. Instead, these sacrifices can all make Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection more meaningful.

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 

Luke 14:27

If Lent is a time to give up myself and to focus on the ministry God calls me to on this earth, loving God and loving His people, then this year was a lesson in real-time. Just like Jesus' journey to the cross, following the path chosen for me can be more difficult than any fast. Carrying the burdens of others continues to wreck me this Lenten season and I'm reminded that I can do nothing in my own strength.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Sharing in His sufferings, in just a small way, to love those who know no other way to deal with anger, pain, and sadness than to lash out at Love, that's the prayer and the fasting and the charity that Jesus modeled. Many times this Lenten season I've cried, "Take this! I'm tired of doing the hard; it's someone else's turn." He didn't take the hard, but He did send a community to pray, encourage, give, and uplift. And that's the cycle of the gospel, isn't it? What do you have in your hand? Are you willing to give it up for one who needs it more? Are you able to trust that He who has called you will provide through Himself and through those He has already prepared to join you, to uplift you, and to walk the narrow and difficult road with you?

I need only look at that wreath, at those lights, at that journey to Easter. My burden is lifted when shared in His yoke, and hope is restored in all the promises of the resurrection. Joy does come in the morning and we are given strength for each day.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,

whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13