Victor-isms from quarantine

 Me: (Advent reading, Day 11 - Jesus is the Vine) "All the nutrients travel along the sap of the vine into the branches so the branches can stay healthy and grow and produce fruit..."

Victor (interrupts): That's capillary action!

Me:...That would be correct...Now, continuing on with the reading...

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V: What are you doing?

Me: Working on supper.

V: I'll help boil the water.

Thanks, buddy. That's the part that had me the most stressed.

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Victor: Eden, when did you learn German?

Eden: I started in 5th grade.

Victor: Oh, you're in 10th grade now. So...you'll be in college soon. So you won't put your foot on my chair anymore. *Thinks a bit* Well, I'll kind of miss you. I'll miss your snuggles.

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Victor: I'm a little bit sleepy.

Me: Then go take a nap.

Victor: I'm not that kind of sleepy; I'm emotionally sleepy because my emotions have been working all day.

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Overheard:

Victor: Eden, what's your favorite Christmas song of all time?

Eden: I'm not telling you because yesterday when I told you my favorite Christmas song of all time you yelled at me because it wasn't the right favorite Christmas song of all time.

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The 8th grader had a question about her science lesson. The adult didn't know the answer. The 10th grader didn't know the answer. We asked the 2nd grader. He knew. Apparently we aren't smarter than a 2nd grader.

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Me: Victor, finish your supper.

Victor: It's cold.

Me: Put it in the microwave.

Victor: How long would you advise?

Advise? How long would I advise? What 7 year old asks how long I would advise?????

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Me to Eden: Should we have our Little Women viewing party on Friday night?

Victor: NO! I'M HERE AND I'M NOT A WOMAN SO YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT ME!

Ummmmm, I think you completely misunderstood my question. Way to get your blood pumping there, buddy.

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School question: Victor, what is your favorite place in PA?

Victor: Chick-Fil-A, The Appalachian Trail, and Spirit Day Spa because it's just so calm and relaxing.

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Victor (while rubbing my back): Does this feel good?

Me: Yes.

Victor: Is your back getting looser?

Me: Yes, thank you.

Victor: Why is it tight?

Me: I wish I knew.

Victor (while moving his hand the other direction): That makes it tighter, right?

Me: No. Why do you think you’re making my back tighter?

Victor: Righty tighty, lefty loosey, right?

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Victor and I completed a multi-week unit on elections but I apparently did not adequately explain the process because when I told him I was leaving to vote he asked, “You’re just going to write Trump or Biden and then come home, right? How long will it take you to spell that?”

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After Victor's shower this morning:

V: Can I use the hair dryer?

Me: Sure.

...

V: Can I use the hairspray?

Me: Sure.

...

V: I'm like an old lady now. I used the hair dryer and the hairspray, right?

Me: How does an old lady even respond to that?

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Victor on the phone with Isaac: How are you enjoying your classes? How's music theory? So, are you enjoying reading the Bible? I love how the Bible fits together. I started in Matthew but then halfway through I decided I needed to go to Genesis. I need to get an ipad so we can have a Zoom meeting. I'll be right back. I'm just going to go to the bathroom. I don't want to take you into the bathroom because one time I dropped the phone in the toilet. I don't want to do that...

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Since listening to the OT on CD (he begged and begged for this and I surprisingly found a set at the Goodwill Outlet) we have had the following conversations and more:

What is circumcision?

Chronicles is cool

What are bowels? Do people still get a disease where their bowels come out?

Did you hear the one about the guy who was so fat that the sword disappeared in his stomach when he was killed?

Remember Uriah the Hittite?

Oh, the Philistines. I think that was the time of Agog, right?

(When seeing me sad about something): You should have sackcloth and ashes.

When watching Elf and not liking the character of Elf's dad: He loves money more than people. That's adultery.