Coals of fire

 There's been a lot of hate and vitriol being slung in all directions, the doer feeling justified for a variety of reasons. A Biblical phrase that has both challenged and perplexed me is to "heap burning coals" on the head of the one who is hurting you.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;

    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.

22 

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,

    and the Lord will reward you.

Proverbs 25:21-22

This proverb is repeated by Paul in Romans 12:20. I've read many explanations through the years but they all come down to reading the phrase in its context, specifically, all of Romans 12.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will...Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves...Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.                                                                       Romans 12 (selections)

In this case, it is impossible to miss the greater message which is to bless those who hurt us - caring for their needs, and then going a step beyond to simply bless. As a trauma-informed educator, this reminds me that many times, a person's outward behavior is simply masking needs for physical, emotional, and spiritual safety. In light of that, when I experience this kind of hate and my first response is hurt and anger and to return the pain that I've experienced, I've learned to do something for that person. It usually means that Jesus and I have to have some long talks first, while I reign in my tongue and fingers so I don't say or type something I'll regret.

When I was growing up, I was introduced to a book entitled Coals of Fire by Elizabeth Hershberger Bauman (no relation that I know of). It was originally published in 1954 and tells 17 true stories of individuals who chose to meet their enemies with love. I've read it many times (I do have 9 kids, after all!) and am always challenged by the decisions made. I am struck that by the fact that facing hate with love can only happen when we have first chosen to offer our bodies as "living sacrifices", when we have not conformed to the patterns of this world, when we have honored others as better than ourselves, and when we commit to overcoming evil with good.

There was a time when I was hated by a woman in the community. Our paths crossed often and my attempts at being kind were ignored or worse. One day I decided to find ways to bless her with gifts. Feeling like she might just throw them away or get angrier if she knew they were from me, I found ways to give them to her anonymously. Sometimes I'd include a note of encouragement or word of affirmation, asking God to show me the good in her. We eventually moved away so I don't know if her heart was ever changed but I do know that it changed mine. Instead of being angry when I thought of her, instead of wanting to repay evil for evil, I was able to forgive, to see the personal reasons and childhood hurts behind her behavior, and to think more of blessing her than hating her.

Blessing instead of hating makes no sense to those who don't follow Christ. It goes against every carnal instinct. Hate is more natural than love. Anger is more natural than peace. Justifying hurt because "that person deserves it" or "he has done so much harm" or, the currently common phrase, "I just can't" is much easier than honoring others as better than ourselves. For today, and then tomorrow, and then the next day, I am making the purposeful choice to live at peace with everyone, as much as it is within me.