Victor-isms for Corona Quarantine

Hope: What is it called when you do something to your muscle or bone?
The family (trying to help her out): Sprain? Strain?
Victor: Jane?

And later...

The family (still trying to help her out): Tendonitis? Osgood-Schlatters?
Victor: Underwear?
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Victor: Mom, could you please put tu-tus on my face so I can look like Darth Maul?
Mom:.......... (No idea...........)

And later, a lightbulb moment...

Mom: Wait! Eden, does Darth Maul have tattoos by any chance?
Eden: Yes. Why?
Mom: It's a long story.
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Random comment, out of the blue, with no context...
Victor: The format of life is really weird.
Me: Why? What does that even mean?
Victor: Because how could you give milk? How does that happen? Does it come from your belly button or something?
Me: Ask your father.
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Victor (coming up to tattle on Big Brother who shall remain nameless): Mom, Isaac's watching a horror movie.
Isaac (coming up to defend himself): I would like to speak against the spread of false information. I am watching Black Panther which we all know is not a horror movie.
Victor (to wake the whole house who insist on sleeping til noon): We can have different opinions, you know!
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(After hearing Isaac complain about the snail's pace of our internet due to too many at-home learners, workers, and professors in the house on the computer at the same time): Isaac, you know that computers have nerves of steel!
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Victor (coming to start schoolwork on Day 15 of Coronavirus Schooling): Let's pretend that you're a good, good teacher.

He then suggested that I needed a new name to be his teacher. I told him Mrs. King would work. He told me that was not possible because it's Megan's name.
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Victor: Oh, yeah, I know what contacts are. They're like little cling stickers you put in your eyes.
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Don't you wish you could be in a Zoom classroom with Victor? During class he turns on Voiceover so he can find every ever-lovin' button there is. This morning he sent his teacher messages using chat. First it was just emojis. Then it was, "I'm burping," followed by "I'm barking," and finally (because he is in first grade), "I'm pooping."

And this, my friends, is why school, and the world,  has now adopted the Whose Line Is It Anyway model, "The place where the rules are made up and the grades don't matter."