Victor-isms still happen

Mom, another name for the White House is The Headquarters, right?
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Shoun playfully hit Victor who was not amused so he shouted, "Shoun, you're grinded!"
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Victor: Hey, look, do you see that? (Pointing to his chest) I stabbed myself with a pencil.
Mariana: Victor, that's your nipple.
Victor: Yeah, I stabbed myself with a pencil a month ago and that's how that got there.
Mariana: Well, do you have another one?
Victor: No.
Mariana: Are you sure?
(He checks...)
Victor: No.
Mariana tells him to check out the other side...
Victor: Oh, yeah, I think I stabbed myself with a pencil over there, too.
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Victor: Mom, why do veterinarians only eat pretend stuff?
Me: Vets? I'm pretty sure they eat normal food just like we do. They're people, too.
Victor: No, they only eat pretend stuff.
Me: Ok. (It's better not to argue with Victor. Believe me. Even when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are correct. Even when you could prove it by driving to the local veterinarian's office and asking them what they eat.)
Victor: Well, I know that veterinarians don't eat meat. So why don't they eat meat?
Me (having a lightbulb moment): Ohhhhhhhhhhh. You don't mean veterinarians, you mean vegetarians. (Excuse me while I go in my room and laugh out loud since doing so in front of you will mean that I get yelled at and, on a good day, punched or pinched.)
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Me: What did you learn in Sunday School today?
Victor: Loveness
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It's the worst pain in my whole gallery of itches.
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Victor was helping to husk corn. He didn't like the tassels so he would work on each ear until he got to the inside and then he would hand it to one of us saying, "You can have the tassel hassle."
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We found a cicada with limited mobility (that's the politically correct way of saying it was likely going to be a bird's dinner). I brought it close so Victor could observe it. He then told us that we had to have a prayer for the cicada. After the prayer, which he led, he spent a long time studying the cicada and then said, "Mom, we're cicada-ologists." And later, "Do cicadas have souls?"
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