Planning for the future

I signed my first document today with the words "special needs child" on them.  The receptionist handed it over mumbling something sweet and smiling as if I was signing a release for some prize I'd just won.  I didn't even realize what I was signing until I read the brochure that came with it.  I know, I know, I should read the fine print.  You can judge me as soon as you've signed as many HIPAA forms as I have.

Funny, since when John and I were dating, I was the one wanting to adopt a house full of special needs children.  The Good Doctor wanted nothing to do with it.

Warning:  If you plan to marry someone with God-given plans, you can pretty much assume God is going to change you, too.  Just ask the Good Doctor.

But I'll admit that this wasn't in my plans.  I had my special needs plans all planned out - Down Syndrome, Check, I've worked with many children in this category and just adore them.  Deafness, Check, John and I sign, the kids sign a little, and we are familiar with Deaf culture.

Blindness?  Um.  I read a book about a blind man who walked the Appalachian Trail with his guide dog.  That's about all I know.

And then, every time my mind starts going down the path of, This wasn't in my plans, I have to remind myself that I'm not in charge of the world (controlling people need to remind themselves of this quite often).  If I were, what a mess that would be.  I can think of plenty of times when my need to have my life planned out goes awry.  Planning for a family of ten isn't always easy, either.  So, if I had to orchestrate the events of everyone on this planet, whoever was, and is, and will be?  Well, of course there's no way.

That's where my hope lies.  I know that I can trust the One who does have it all under control; the one who knows my comings and goings before I plan them and who orchestrates them exactly so that He receives the glory.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 is spoken often, and often out of context.  Someone handed them to me in church, written on a small slip of paper, earlier in our adoption journey.  I needed them that day and they are just as relevant today.  God's intent is never to harm us, only to give us hope and a future.  A future with an ending we already know; a future where Victor receives his sight and none of us will suffer anymore.  That's some planning I'm waiting for!

This is part of the plan for Victor and for us and we can walk forward confidently.  He is ours and we are his family.  Love. Redemption. God's plan.

And then to confirm it, I just read a letter from friends at church.  It included the words to a song I had never heard before called Promise, performed by Liberated Wailing Wall.  How fitting!

There's no hope that is too high
For a love that covers the skies
The quiet whispers in your heart
May be a light in the dark
Don't you know what I can do
Oh, the plans I have for you

Plans to prosper to make you grow
Plans for you to make my light show
Plans to make your dreams come true
Plans for your life I give to you

Desires no one knows
I'll open doors no man can close
Live your life, watch what I'll do
'Cause oh, the plans I have for you

When you pray I will hear
If you search I will be near
Gather and restore all your land
Oh, the plans that I have planned

I'll bring you back again

Live your life, watch what I'll do
'Cause oh, the plans I have for you