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Dear Laura Sybil,

I just love reading your blog. Thank you for helping me feel normal as a mother. On most days, reading your blog actually makes me feel better than normal. I wish you would write everyday so that I could have a little inspiration on a daily basis. I know it takes time to write and I'm sure time is at a premium at your house but I think I have a solution for you. What if you were on Facebook and you just tried to write a sentence a day, or even just provided a link to someone else's advice for parents? Or maybe posted a funny quote from your kids? It sure would boost my confidence.

Sincerely,
Just a Suggestion But Please Give it Serious Consideration



Dear Just a Suggestion But Please Give it Serious Consideration,

Well, I'm not sure if I should be flattered or upset.

If you enjoy reading my blog so much then I assume you know that I have an allergy to Facebook. It appears as if I am able to use my husband's Facebook account without adverse personal effect but I don't think I'm able to have my own account.

I'm also deathly allergic to people becoming my friend on Facebook. In particular I'm referring to those folks I knew in my high school years. They weren't my friend back then and I certainly don't want to be Facebook friendly today. It was bad enough when they started calling me during the high school alumni phone-a-thon asking me to support bullying and confidence busting with my hard-earned dollars. When I answered the phone that day and heard the overly-friendly and gushing voice on the other end I was certain it was a long lost friend. Until she told me her name. Seriously? Have you forgotten that I'm lower than low on your totem pole of worthiness? Why would you even bother pretending that you want to speak to me? Just because you want to win some gift certificate for collecting the most alumni money? No thank you. I solved that problem in subsequent years by writing the phone-a-thon week on my calendar and banning all family members from answering the phone that week. Until the invention of caller ID (the research of which I was secretly funding so that my problem could be solved) at which time we only had to avoid certain phone numbers. And then, of course, I moved away and never sent my forwarding address or number. Interestingly, the Good Doctor was later a guidance counselor at this same beloved institution. They have his address; if they were really interested in finding out what I made of my life, they could always put two and two together. But then again my best friend teaches in their elementary school yet they have her listed as lost alumni. I guess you put your time and money into that which you really care about.

But boy do I digress! Of course another reason I am not on Facebook is because it is much more fun to hack into the Good Doctor's account and to confuse both him and his readers. The kids and I love to hear someone comment on the Good Doctor's "hilarious post" only to chuckle to ourselves knowing full well that the Good Doctor does not post funny comments. For those who are friends with him on Facebook, I'm going to tell you this one more time: If the post is funny, I wrote it. If it's about me, he wrote it. However, I have received his express written consent to continue to hack into his account even if I do open my own account.

So, be sure to mark this momentous day on your calendars as I'm sure we will be celebrating it every year hereafter and it will someday become a national holiday. I, Laura Sybil King, am now on Facebook. Friend away, Friends.

Sincerely,
Laura Sybil King