This morning my child said, "I hate you." I guess I should be thankful that it took 17 years of child-raising before hearing these words. I know I'm certainly not the first parent who has been the target of this verbal assault. Once upon a time there was a little girl named Cindy who I happen to know very well, who penned a lovely poem centered on the theme of terrible parents (while growing up in a very healthy and loving home, I might add). I know the words were expressed in anger, and out of frustration for receiving a consequence after a poor choice.
The child then gave me ten reasons why I was hated. Interestingly, nine of the ten were the result of consequences to the child's choices. For example, "You take my toys away during school" and "I have to run 3 laps outside the house when you see me running around inside the house," made the list as did, "You don't let me have screen time when I don't finish my schoolwork." The tenth item on the list was, "You think I'm dumb."
Trying to ignore the three hurtful words for the time being, I decided to write a list for this child, "10 Reasons Why I Love You." Number one on the list said, "I love you because God made you." A little farther down I wrote, "I love you because you have learned so much and you are very bright." I also wrote, "I love you because you are my child and nothing you say or do will ever change that."
There will be another day to talk about hurtful words and "in your anger do not sin." But for today, I want this child to know that I will always love all of my children, no matter what. Period.
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