Not my kid

One of my favorite books is Cheaper By the Dozen (of course). The real one. The book, not the movie. In fact, I don't know if I've ever even seen the movie. For all you folks who watch movies more than read books, yes there really was a family that had 12 children and lived to tell about it. In fact, it was the children who had the idea to write a book. Makes me wonder what my children are going to write about me someday.

Not that we have 12 children.

Yet.

Anyway, back to the story. One of my favorite glimpses into the real-life Cheaper By the Dozen Family is when the mother answered the phone to a conversation like this one:

Child on phone: Hello, Mom? This is Erica. Can I go to Jenny's house?

Mother: Yes, dear. Have a good time.

It wasn't until she hung up that she realized that she didn't have a daughter named Erica and that she had just given someone else's daughter permission to stay at someone else's house.

Oh well. These things happen. It's best to just go on.

So when I got a postcard in the mail from the orthodontist's office, reminding me of Jessica's appointment for Nov. 30 at 4:15, of course I checked the calendar to confirm. Uh oh. No orthodontist appointment listed for Nov. 30. For any King kid. So I double-checked: "Appointment for Jessica on Nov. 30 at 4:15" it clearly stated. I looked again. Yep, I'm on the November page. And yes, I'm looking at the 30th. Still no King kids listed for an orthodontist appointment on that date. Check the postcard one more time: "Appointment for Jessica..." Wait a minute. . .

We don't have a Jessica.

We do have a Jesse. Now I don't know who is confused, the orthodontist's office or me. It could go either way.

It could be my mistake. I used to be ultra-organized. But then I had children. Not so much anymore. There was the year that Mariana was supposed to have her 5 year old check-up in May. I missed the appointment. I put my tail between my legs and called to explain my oversight. They were very nice and gave me another appointment a month later. I missed that one, too. This time I put my tail between my legs and my best sheepish face on and admitted my oversight once again. They gave me an appointment for July. Mariana finally got those kindergarten shots, just two months after the original appointment. To my credit, there was also a lot of stuff going on in our lives at the time and I was probably not at my emotional best (in fact, I think it was the longest Funny Farm stay ever).

But of course it could be the orthodontist's office. They do have a lot of patients and we do constitute a large portion of their patient base. In fact, I believe our contributions have completely furnished their waiting area, paid for all of their in-office magazine subscriptions, and will be sending all of the employees' children to college. All because they inherited their father's predisposition to not grow adult teeth and their mother's crowded mouth (and you all thought I had a big mouth - ha!). So I gave the office a call.




Me: Hello. I received a postcard in the mail reminding me about a child's appointment for Nov. 30 at 4:15. I'm not positive, but I don't think this is my child.

Receptionist: Let me check. You do have quite a few children so I can see how you would miss a child. (Shows you how often we really are there - they know me by voice alone)

Turns out Jessica King is not one of mine. Too bad. I'm sure she would fit in just fine.