I never thought . . .

I never thought I'd only have 6 children. Enough said. We've been through this one before.

I never thought I'd be the one taking the old tile off the bathroom wall. When I was in high school and my family was building our new house, I was the one who volunteered to stay at the old house to "hold down the fort" and to have supper ready for everyone.

I never thought I'd move away from my hometown. I'm the one whose answer to John's marriage proposal was, "Yes, if you'll move to Pennsylvania." I guess I should have been a little more specific.

I never thought I'd like teen-agers. Our pre-parenting agreement clearly stated that I would raise the children through middle school and then John would take over. He was, after all, the youth pastor. However, not only do I like my teen-agers, I love them. And I haven't had to take any by the throat and shake 'em a few times to try to knock some sense into them (yet).

I never thought I'd be on TV but so far my family has talked me into one cheesy commercial and a reality show audition.

I never thought I'd have a musical family that was compared to the von Trapp's. If I had considered it, however, I would have seen myself as the one making matching outfits out of curtains, not participating musically.

I never thought I'd be a pastor's wife. I do, however, distinctly remember looking at John one day when we were dating and thinking, "This guy's going to be a pastor someday." Why, oh why, did I not take it to its logical conclusion that if I married a man destined to be a pastor, by default that was going to make me the pastor's wife? I must have been in love.

I never thought I'd homeschool. Children belong in school, right? With people who've paid money to learn how to do such things. God has a sense of humor. I haven't given in on this one entirely, though, since my children are not allowed to dress like homeschoolers. At least, they are not allowed to leave their bedrooms unless they are most definitely NOT looking like homeschoolers. And for those of you who don't homeschool, don't worry, I have not turned into a militant homeschooler, meaning I will never look down on those who do not homeschool and I do not believe it is God's only plan for the education of children. Your family is safe with us.

I never thought I'd allow my children to choose their own clothes. And hair styles. But then I had boys whose hair suddently became curly in puberty. It's cute. So I let them keep it long. Even if Grandma doesn't like it. And then there's Jesse who likes to wear bright orange shorts with red crocs. And tie dye. And Hawaiin shirts. He's being an individual and not hurting anyone. So that's okay in my book. And of course there's Mariana who likes hats and long earrings. Again, she's comfortable for who she is. That's a whole lot better than I was at her age. I do draw the line at out-dated and mismatched clothes but that was already addressed in the last paragraph.

I never thought I'd drive a full-size van. I don't know how I thought I was going to haul around my 13 children. Thankfully I've come to find that I enjoy sitting up high in the driver's seat where I can see everything around me. I did not, however, plan to have such a conspicuous vehicle with an even more conspicuous license plate. Even Andrew's friends can keep tabs on me and let him know where they've spotted the "King Zoo".

I never thought I'd take my children in public places with running snotty noses. Then I had children and they had colds and I realized that if I wanted groceries, we had to leave the house.

I never thought I'd help to catch bugs and euthanize them in the freezer. I still feel guilty every time. But I do it. I am an accessory to the crime because I love my bug-loving son.

I never thought I'd own a snake. Well, officially it is Andrew's but it is in my house. Not only does she (the snake) live here but I've grown quite fond of her and probably hold her more often than anyone else in the house. Except on feeding day. I do not participate in the feeding of live animals to another live animal.

I never thought I'd write something that others would read. Well, there was that periodical that closed up shop soon after I began my career as a contributing writer. And there are a good number of skits that have been performed here and there. But other than that. . .