About a month ago I started reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson to the youngest four during our daily devotions. We loved it. Soon after, I heard about his newer publication, Draw the Circle, a 40 day devotional and prayer challenge, based on his bestseller. With Lent coming up, I decided it'd be a great theme upon which we could focus. So we switched midway. I offered the challenge up to the whole family but in the end it was only those over which I still have devotional control who accepted the challenge. That's okay. The five of us are growing in leaps and bounds in our personal prayer lives and pressing into God's desires for each of us.
Soon after we began our Lenten series, Isaac found out that there's a youth version of The Circle Maker and he wondered if we should be reading that instead. I asked him, "Do you understand what this book is about? Do you enjoy the stories and examples? Are you being challenged? Are you learning about prayer?" The answer was yes, of course. "Then I see no reason to change." My family is used to me giving them adult books on Christian living, but if yours are not, then by all means, thank you Mr. Batterson for giving us more than one option.
To find out what the kids have been getting from this series, read here.
For me, it was the perfect topic during this season of waiting, spiritual attack, and uncertainty. I soon found out that I wasn't the only one in our adoption group doing this study. In fact, it seems as if several churches across the nation have taken this 40 day prayer challenge and made it a corporate challenge complete with prayer walls to circle the prayers God hands down to each person. As a visual learner, that gives me goose bumps! Trying to figure out which wall of my house could be commandeered as a prayer wall. Hmmmm.
The first concept that resonated with me was that of not just praying for something, but praying through. When I was honest with myself I realized that too often I pray for something until I get an answer, whether that be yes, no, maybe, or wait. Once it appears as if my request is not being answered, I quit praying for it. Batterson's challenge is to continue praying, to pray through. At first I found I really had to force myself to persevere when I really just wanted to get discouraged and give up with some form of pity party for those whom the Lord hasn't yet answered. Now I see my prayer muscle strengthening on an almost daily basis as I persevere through days of doubt and depression.
The second lesson I've taken away from this study is to praise God as if He has already answered my request. As the saying goes, and many songs have adapted, praising Him in the storm, or in the waiting. This is also something that Eden has adapted, and which she mentioned in her review of the book.
Mark Batterson makes it very clear that he isn't encouraging a name it-claim it or health and wealth kind of prayer life. Our prayers have to come from passions and desires that God has first placed within us. We need to be discerning and searching first, obedient second. We need to get out of the boat, praising God in the act. The answer will come.
So where are we in our adoption journey? Still waiting. And praying. But this we know, every day we are one day closer to seeing our child.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Waiting
I'm not very good at waiting. I go nuts. If I'm waiting in traffic, I'm thinking about where I'm supposed to be and fretting over (possibly) being late. Since I'm usually early, the fretting is typically in vain as the minor delay makes me right on time. If I'm waiting in a doctor's office, I'm thinking about all the things I could be getting done at home. If I forgot to bring a book along, I'm also thinking about the precious me-time that could be spent making headway in a book, a rare but valued occurrence.
But that kind of waiting is nothing. So much of life is waiting for things of much more importance. There's waiting for graduation, waiting for a job, waiting for a spouse, waiting for a child, waiting for a medical answer, waiting for healing, and maybe the most difficult of all - waiting for Heaven.
So this waiting for a child is just about over the top for me. Sometimes days go by without a single potential situation coming our way. The waiting is intense. Sometimes, two situations come by in a day. The waiting is intense. Sometimes days go by without an answer. The waiting is intense. Sometimes a response comes back right away; the expectant or birth mother has chosen a different family. The waiting is still intense.
There is a simple yet profound little devotional called 31 Nuggets of Hope: For Moms Who Said Yes to the Fatherless by Shelly Roberts. This is the book I go to when I need a reminder that I'm not alone; these feelings and experiences are felt by every single one of us when bringing wounded children into our homes. This morning's reading was just for today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...
"We have NO control over anything that is about to happen in our lives, but we know the ONE who does. It is there we must find refuge and it is the ONLY place we will find peace. If we do not rest there, we will lose our minds. When you find your mind drifting in a sea of unknowns, thrashing wildly about in the waves of fear, you must, by mere obedience, let God take control of your thoughts. You must submit everything to His loving care."
So where are we now in our adoption journey? We're waiting. And I'm learning to give up my desire for control, to find refuge in God and to claim the peace that passes all understanding.
But that kind of waiting is nothing. So much of life is waiting for things of much more importance. There's waiting for graduation, waiting for a job, waiting for a spouse, waiting for a child, waiting for a medical answer, waiting for healing, and maybe the most difficult of all - waiting for Heaven.
So this waiting for a child is just about over the top for me. Sometimes days go by without a single potential situation coming our way. The waiting is intense. Sometimes, two situations come by in a day. The waiting is intense. Sometimes days go by without an answer. The waiting is intense. Sometimes a response comes back right away; the expectant or birth mother has chosen a different family. The waiting is still intense.
There is a simple yet profound little devotional called 31 Nuggets of Hope: For Moms Who Said Yes to the Fatherless by Shelly Roberts. This is the book I go to when I need a reminder that I'm not alone; these feelings and experiences are felt by every single one of us when bringing wounded children into our homes. This morning's reading was just for today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...
"We have NO control over anything that is about to happen in our lives, but we know the ONE who does. It is there we must find refuge and it is the ONLY place we will find peace. If we do not rest there, we will lose our minds. When you find your mind drifting in a sea of unknowns, thrashing wildly about in the waves of fear, you must, by mere obedience, let God take control of your thoughts. You must submit everything to His loving care."
So where are we now in our adoption journey? We're waiting. And I'm learning to give up my desire for control, to find refuge in God and to claim the peace that passes all understanding.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Adoption update
First, a recap. We have been home study ready since the first week of December and two days later we started applying to agencies that our consultant works with.
Since then, we've had numerous possible situations come through. We read the information given about the expectant parent(s) and then prayerfully make a decision. This has been so heartbreaking. How do you say no to a child based on the health history of a parent or the poor choices of a parent? At times I've felt picky but our consultant assured me it was being wise, not being picky. That made me feel better, but I still just want to take each and every one regardless of the outcome. We know, however, that with seven children already at home, we need to make a wise decision based on the time and care we know that we are able to give.
Twice we have said yes and our profile was shown to the expectant parent(s) along with several other families who were also willing to parent that child. The wait is excruciating. Think about that pregnancy test needing to take several days to give you a result instead of a few seconds.
Each time we were not chosen. While that can be a discouraging feeling, we continue to repeat what we have said from the beginning of this journey, "God has the perfect match for us, in His perfect timing." He's not going to give us the wrong child, nor will He allow us to miss the right one.
We are thankful for prayer partners who have helped us carry the burden of these choices. Sometimes the answer was easy, sometimes not so much. We ask all of you to pray for us; for wisdom, for patience, and for faith.
Since then, we've had numerous possible situations come through. We read the information given about the expectant parent(s) and then prayerfully make a decision. This has been so heartbreaking. How do you say no to a child based on the health history of a parent or the poor choices of a parent? At times I've felt picky but our consultant assured me it was being wise, not being picky. That made me feel better, but I still just want to take each and every one regardless of the outcome. We know, however, that with seven children already at home, we need to make a wise decision based on the time and care we know that we are able to give.
Twice we have said yes and our profile was shown to the expectant parent(s) along with several other families who were also willing to parent that child. The wait is excruciating. Think about that pregnancy test needing to take several days to give you a result instead of a few seconds.
Each time we were not chosen. While that can be a discouraging feeling, we continue to repeat what we have said from the beginning of this journey, "God has the perfect match for us, in His perfect timing." He's not going to give us the wrong child, nor will He allow us to miss the right one.
We are thankful for prayer partners who have helped us carry the burden of these choices. Sometimes the answer was easy, sometimes not so much. We ask all of you to pray for us; for wisdom, for patience, and for faith.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Blackmail
I had an idea for today's post but then didn't get around to taking the picture to go along with it. But then I was on the Good Doctor's Facebook account (yeah, what of it?) and found the perfect source for a post.
I've always known that the Good Doctor was something of a lady's man, BC (Before Cindy). His family doesn't have many family photos, especially of Child #5, but of the few they snapped, John is surrounded by girls in most of them. Apparently he was just following orders as his dad was known to remind his sons, "Be like Jesus and love 'em all."
You have to be careful about the kinds of things others tag you in. Someone from his high school class, who must have attended the same summer camp as John, recently uncovered this letter in a box and decided to post it. I owe this woman a lot of money; I shall be using this in so many ways in the near future. There's no denying that his signature is right there, first on the list. I haven't done a full handwriting analysis but I'm pretty certain he was also the transcriptionist. Oh, this should be fun!
I've always known that the Good Doctor was something of a lady's man, BC (Before Cindy). His family doesn't have many family photos, especially of Child #5, but of the few they snapped, John is surrounded by girls in most of them. Apparently he was just following orders as his dad was known to remind his sons, "Be like Jesus and love 'em all."
You have to be careful about the kinds of things others tag you in. Someone from his high school class, who must have attended the same summer camp as John, recently uncovered this letter in a box and decided to post it. I owe this woman a lot of money; I shall be using this in so many ways in the near future. There's no denying that his signature is right there, first on the list. I haven't done a full handwriting analysis but I'm pretty certain he was also the transcriptionist. Oh, this should be fun!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
They love me
Two little girls were having a little trouble getting along. I told them to choose a task out of the "Uh oh, we were fighting so now we have to work together..." jar. Would you believe, they fought through that assignment as well? So, they had to pick again. The second time around they chose this task: Together, compose a list of 10 reasons you love Mom. Oh, fun.
Between them, these are the reasons they love me (you can probably figure out which ones were written by the 6 year old and which were written by the 8 year old).
1. BKOS SHIE IS THE ABE2T MADOR
2's. S's. Same thing, right? I believe this says that I am the best mother, as in "Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder" from the popular camp song. Or it could say that I'm the best matador. The author couldn't remember.
2. She gives me lots.
I'm not sure what I give lots of, but it appears to be appreciated.
3. I LOV U MOMMY VR HF
She loves me very half?
4. I LOV U Y FOL MIE HRT
Stick with me here but I think it says, "I love you wif all my heart." Those y's and w's get her every time; I even saw her peeking at the alphabet chart but I don't think it helped. And spaces between words, who needs them?
5. She plays games with us.
I'm not sure if she's referring to board games or head games. Because I admit to doing both.
6. MOMMY IS BE2T MOMMY BKO2 HELET ME VI2IT MOME SHEDO
Don't worry, I had a little trouble with this one, too. It was interpreted by the author as, "Mommy is the best Mommy because she helped me visit Mommy Chanda." Mommy Chanda is her birthmother and while Hope doesn't remember visiting her, we have pictures until Hope was 1 1/2. Yes, that one melted my heart. And continues to do so each time I read this.
7. She gives me food.
This may not mean much to you but since it came from the child who refuses to eat at least half of my meals, I'll take it as a compliment.
8. She tells me what to do.
Glad you like it.
9. She helps me when I am sick.
Yeah, we just had the flu around here.
10. I LOV U BKO2 U ODOPT ME
She loves me because I adopted her. I think I'm going to cry.
Between them, these are the reasons they love me (you can probably figure out which ones were written by the 6 year old and which were written by the 8 year old).
1. BKOS SHIE IS THE ABE2T MADOR
2's. S's. Same thing, right? I believe this says that I am the best mother, as in "Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder" from the popular camp song. Or it could say that I'm the best matador. The author couldn't remember.
2. She gives me lots.
I'm not sure what I give lots of, but it appears to be appreciated.
3. I LOV U MOMMY VR HF
She loves me very half?
4. I LOV U Y FOL MIE HRT
Stick with me here but I think it says, "I love you wif all my heart." Those y's and w's get her every time; I even saw her peeking at the alphabet chart but I don't think it helped. And spaces between words, who needs them?
5. She plays games with us.
I'm not sure if she's referring to board games or head games. Because I admit to doing both.
6. MOMMY IS BE2T MOMMY BKO2 HELET ME VI2IT MOME SHEDO
Don't worry, I had a little trouble with this one, too. It was interpreted by the author as, "Mommy is the best Mommy because she helped me visit Mommy Chanda." Mommy Chanda is her birthmother and while Hope doesn't remember visiting her, we have pictures until Hope was 1 1/2. Yes, that one melted my heart. And continues to do so each time I read this.
7. She gives me food.
This may not mean much to you but since it came from the child who refuses to eat at least half of my meals, I'll take it as a compliment.
8. She tells me what to do.
Glad you like it.
9. She helps me when I am sick.
Yeah, we just had the flu around here.
10. I LOV U BKO2 U ODOPT ME
She loves me because I adopted her. I think I'm going to cry.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Fight the good fight
It was a rough week. It's been a rough month. In fact, things have just been a bit crazy for quite some time. Car trouble. All three cars. Tempers. Tantrums the likes of which have never been seen in my house. Attitudes. Some days I feel like I'm living with Jekyll and Hyde, and there are nine of them!
And then I ran across this blog, written two years ago but so relevant for my family today. Really, I don't think adoption is the key point here; I think that anyone following God's will, opening doors for others to join the kingdom, will find battle. Unfortunately, we were caught off-guard, our defenses were down, and we suffered the onslaught.
But in the midst of turmoil, breakthrough. Tonight, as I said my usual, "Good night, I love you," it was returned with, "I love you, too." Three words I've never heard from this child and often wondered if I ever would. Really? You chose tonight to speak them aloud for the first time in this home? In the midst of anger and resistance?
Yeah, I'm counting my blessings over here. We may have suffered in a few battles, but we're not losing the war. It's already been won!
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
Please remember us in your prayers.
And then I ran across this blog, written two years ago but so relevant for my family today. Really, I don't think adoption is the key point here; I think that anyone following God's will, opening doors for others to join the kingdom, will find battle. Unfortunately, we were caught off-guard, our defenses were down, and we suffered the onslaught.
But in the midst of turmoil, breakthrough. Tonight, as I said my usual, "Good night, I love you," it was returned with, "I love you, too." Three words I've never heard from this child and often wondered if I ever would. Really? You chose tonight to speak them aloud for the first time in this home? In the midst of anger and resistance?
Yeah, I'm counting my blessings over here. We may have suffered in a few battles, but we're not losing the war. It's already been won!
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
Please remember us in your prayers.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
The art of re-buying
The Good Doctor married me because I hate shopping. Well, either that or because he knew I'd allow him to bring some big ole black cauldron into the marriage with him, carefully storing it in every garage in every home we've ever lived, but never letting it see the light of day. But that's a story for another day and besides, I'm pretty sure it's the first reason.
So, it was quite a shock that yesterday I decided to brave the mall. Maybe it can't really be called "going to the mall" since I knew I was only going to one store, and one store only, but the location was most definitely the mall. I received a gift card for Christmas and then a one-day coupon came through for $50 off a purchase of $100. With a $50 gift card in hand, even I could do the math and figure out that I'd be getting much more bang for my buck. And yes, even I can figure out that the store is still laughing all the way to the bank at their profit, but I don't think there's much that I can do about that.
I stopped at Panera to get to my pick-me-up cup of Chai, a self-medicating way to get the courage to walk inside the mall and tackle the task of shopping. Then there I was. The trying on process was not that difficult and I had my items, equally as close to $100 as possible but definitely NOT going under. All was well and within no time I had exited the store, the mall, and was on my way home.
Halfway home I realized the awful truth that I had forgotten to use my gift card, the sole purpose for making this trip! What was I to do? I could use it as an excuse to have to return to the store to purchase $50 more in the future. Or, I could return to the store immediately.
I did what any sane American would do. I exited at the first exit, turned myself around, speed walked back to that store, returned my clothing, and then re-bought everything, being certain to use my gift card this time. Okay, maybe any sane American wouldn't have done that. But every cheapskate like me knows exactly why I did what I did. I feel so much better.
And think of all that extra exercise!
So, it was quite a shock that yesterday I decided to brave the mall. Maybe it can't really be called "going to the mall" since I knew I was only going to one store, and one store only, but the location was most definitely the mall. I received a gift card for Christmas and then a one-day coupon came through for $50 off a purchase of $100. With a $50 gift card in hand, even I could do the math and figure out that I'd be getting much more bang for my buck. And yes, even I can figure out that the store is still laughing all the way to the bank at their profit, but I don't think there's much that I can do about that.
I stopped at Panera to get to my pick-me-up cup of Chai, a self-medicating way to get the courage to walk inside the mall and tackle the task of shopping. Then there I was. The trying on process was not that difficult and I had my items, equally as close to $100 as possible but definitely NOT going under. All was well and within no time I had exited the store, the mall, and was on my way home.
Halfway home I realized the awful truth that I had forgotten to use my gift card, the sole purpose for making this trip! What was I to do? I could use it as an excuse to have to return to the store to purchase $50 more in the future. Or, I could return to the store immediately.
I did what any sane American would do. I exited at the first exit, turned myself around, speed walked back to that store, returned my clothing, and then re-bought everything, being certain to use my gift card this time. Okay, maybe any sane American wouldn't have done that. But every cheapskate like me knows exactly why I did what I did. I feel so much better.
And think of all that extra exercise!
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